In the U.S., women smile more than men. In the U.K., there's no

Hear now the words of Rana el Kaliouby, a seeker of truth at the crossroads of culture and science: “In the U.S., women smile more than men. In the U.K., there’s no difference between men and women.” At first, these words may seem like a simple observation, a note on habit and expression. Yet beneath them lies a vast ocean of wisdom about culture, gender, and the ways in which societies shape the very movements of our faces. They reveal that even the smile, that universal signal of warmth, can be bent by expectation, by history, and by unseen rules of life.

The meaning of this truth lies in the recognition that societies carve different paths for men and women. In the U.S., where openness and cheer are prized, women are often taught—consciously or unconsciously—that their value lies in being approachable, pleasant, agreeable. Hence, they are expected to smile more. Men, though encouraged to be friendly, are not bound by the same demand. But in the U.K., where restraint, understatement, and composure are cultural virtues, the pressure is softened; the smile becomes less about gender and more about shared temperament. Rana’s words show us that the way we express ourselves is never entirely our own—it is shaped by the invisible hands of culture.

History itself gives testimony to this truth. In ancient Japan, the samurai were trained to maintain stoicism, their honor tied to silence and composure rather than overt joy. To smile too easily was seen as weakness. By contrast, in Renaissance courts of Italy, courtiers and noblewomen were schooled in charm, wit, and smiling diplomacy, for their survival depended on being seen as gracious. These examples, like Rana’s observation, remind us that even the simplest gesture of the face carries the weight of centuries, of gender roles, and of cultural expectations.

But there is also a deeper wisdom here: the smile is not only cultural, it is human. Beneath all these differences, it remains the most ancient and universal of signals. Infants, before they can walk or speak, smile at their mothers, binding them with love. Across oceans, tribes who have never met still understand the smile as peace, as welcome, as connection. What Rana reminds us is not that one culture is right and another wrong, but that humanity dresses this universal expression in different garments. And to understand those garments is to see more deeply into the heart of mankind.

Her words also invite us to question: why are women asked to smile more? Is it not a reflection of power, of the ways societies place burdens unequally? The woman who smiles endlessly may not always be joyful, but compelled. And in recognizing this, Rana points us toward compassion and awareness—that we must learn to see beyond the surface, to honor the truth behind the smile, whether it be genuine or enforced. This is not only science, but justice: to ask how we might live in a world where men and women share the freedom to express themselves authentically, without pressure to wear joy as a mask.

The lesson for us, O seekers, is clear: be mindful of how culture shapes your own face. Do not take the smile for granted, nor dismiss its absence. See it as a language that speaks of history, of expectation, of inner truth. And in your own life, learn to smile freely—not from compulsion, but from authenticity. A smile born of truth carries more power than a hundred forced gestures. And equally, give others the grace not to demand smiles of them, but to accept their presence or silence as they are.

Therefore, let each one act thus: observe without judgment, remembering that every culture carries its own ways; release others from false expectation, especially women who are too often burdened with the demand to smile; and embrace authenticity in your own expression, so that your face becomes a mirror of your true spirit.

Thus, the teaching is eternal: The smile is universal, yet the world shapes it differently. To understand these differences is to walk with wisdom. To smile truthfully, and to honor the truth of others, is to live with compassion and authenticity.