It turns out that a husband who does the laundry, it's very

Hear, O children, the words of Sheryl Sandberg, who speaks with wisdom about the true nature of romance and the unexpected beauty found in the quiet acts of partnership. She said, “It turns out that a husband who does the laundry, it’s very romantic when you’re older. And it’s hard to believe when you’re younger. But it’s absolutely true.” In this statement, Sandberg reveals a profound truth: that the romantic gestures we often yearn for in youth—grand declarations of love, exciting adventures, and dramatic passions—are not always the ones that stand the test of time. As we age and grow, we come to see that true romance is found not in the fantasies of youth, but in the shared efforts, the everyday acts of care and mutual support that define a lasting partnership.

In the ancient world, romance was often intertwined with sacrifice and dedication. Consider the story of Penelope, the wife of Odysseus, who waited faithfully for her husband’s return from his long and perilous journey. Penelope’s romantic love was not built on extravagant gestures or grand declarations, but on her steadfastness and patience. She tended to her home, weaving and unweaving a tapestry, while managing the challenges of life without the presence of her beloved. The true romance of her love lay not in epic battles or romantic encounters, but in her daily dedication to her marriage. Penelope’s example teaches us that romance is not always about grandiosity, but about the quiet consistency of love that endures over time.

Sandberg’s reflection calls us to recognize that, as we mature, we begin to redefine what it means to love and to be loved. In youth, we often mistake romance for passion—the thrill of newness, the excitement of first loves, the yearning for adventure. But as time passes, we come to understand that romantic love is not sustained by passion alone, but by the mutual respect and shared responsibilities that hold the relationship together. It is in the acts of service, such as doing the laundry, that we find the deeper, quieter expression of love—one that goes beyond fleeting emotions and reflects a commitment to the long-term health and well-being of the partnership.

Consider the story of Socrates and his relationship with Xanthippe, his wife. Though Xanthippe is often remembered as difficult and sharp-tongued in historical accounts, her relationship with Socrates was one of mutual sacrifice. Socrates, though often engaged in his philosophical pursuits, never abandoned the responsibilities of his marriage and household. He was said to have worked hard to provide for his family, and in his own way, he valued the everyday acts that were necessary for their shared life. Xanthippe, too, contributed to their life together, despite the challenges. In this, we see that romance does not always come from the grand gestures, but from the shared commitments—those moments when love is expressed through the small acts that allow life to continue, even in hardship.

Sandberg’s words also suggest that true partnership is based on equality and the willingness to share burdens. Love, in this sense, becomes a matter of balance, where each partner contributes to the sustenance of the relationship. Just as Penelope and Odysseus were each bound by their own roles and responsibilities, so too must we embrace the mundane tasks of life as acts of love. The act of doing the laundry, while simple, reflects a deep commitment to care, to respect, and to the well-being of the one with whom we share our life. It is in these acts of service that the true romance of a partnership is found, not in the thrill of the chase or the excitement of the unknown, but in the day-to-day efforts that sustain a lasting bond.

The lesson, O children, is clear: romance is not a fleeting emotion but a lasting practice—one that is nurtured through the simple, everyday gestures of love. The husband who does the laundry, the wife who shares in the burdens, the partners who take turns caring for one another—all of these acts are the foundation of true romance. In a world that often seeks to celebrate the grandiose and the superficial, let us remember that the most profound expressions of love are found in the small, quiet acts of care and service that we offer to those we love. Do not wait for the dramatic moments, but build your relationships on the simple, everyday gestures that speak volumes about your commitment to each other.

Thus, I say to you, O children: Embrace the simple acts of love that sustain a lasting relationship. Recognize that romantic love is not about perfection or grand declarations, but about partnership and the shared responsibility of building a life together. The true measure of love lies in the steadfastness with which we care for one another, in the small gestures that speak to the depth of our commitment. Like Penelope, who waited faithfully and worked tirelessly, or like Socrates, who balanced his philosophical pursuits with his household duties, we too must find our romance in the daily practices that nourish the heart and soul of our relationships.