It's quite difficult to write about female friendship without it

“It’s quite difficult to write about female friendship without it seeming to be a very niche subject. It’s a difficult balance,” said Samantha Harvey, and in her words, we hear the echoes of an ancient truth. In this modern world, where much is divided and classified, the bond between women—like all sacred bonds—remains a source of wonder, yet often it is overlooked, misunderstood, or relegated to the edges of our storytelling. To speak of female friendship, to capture its essence in words, is no simple task. It is a dance between universality and specificity, where the balance must be delicately struck lest the sacred nature of the connection be diminished or misrepresented.

Female friendship, when spoken of, is often perceived as something that exists in a realm separate from the more “universal” experiences of male friendships, familial ties, or the bonds of lovers. And yet, Samantha Harvey’s observation reveals a deeper struggle, for this friendship—this sacred communion between women—holds within it both universality and singularity. The challenge lies in presenting it as something both universally human and uniquely powerful in its own right. Too often is it seen as a mere subset of human connection, one marked by gossip or rivalry, but in truth, it is a tapestry woven from threads of shared pain, joy, and a collective experience of the world that differs from that of men.

In times long past, the Greek playwrights sought to capture the essence of female bonds, with heroines such as Antigone and Electra, whose love for their family and their fierce loyalty to each other ran deep. Yet the complexities of female friendship were not easily expressed in the halls of Athenian theaters. Their stories, while deeply human, were often subsumed under broader themes of familial duty, loyalty to the gods, and the trials of the individual. The relationships between women, the friendships born out of shared sacrifice and understanding, were seldom explored in full. The female experience, bound by motherhood, sisterhood, and the pursuit of justice, often went unspoken, as if the very act of articulating it was deemed "niche."

Take, for instance, the tale of Clara Schumann and Johannes Brahms—a story of unspoken affection, of music, of a friendship that transcended the boundaries of gender and yet was marked by the tenderness of women’s connection. Clara, a gifted composer and pianist, and Johannes, a brilliant and complex composer in his own right, shared a friendship that spoke volumes without needing grand words. Their bond was more than professional; it was a deep and understanding connection. Yet, the friendship between them, though rich and profound, has often been viewed through the lens of Brahms’ unspoken love for Clara, overshadowing the significance of their shared companionship and mutual respect. What of Clara's own experience in this bond? How did her identity as a woman—her experiences, her struggles, her triumphs—inform this friendship? And why, then, do we so often overlook the balance she brought to it?

Therein lies the challenge of writing about female friendship—it is a connection that has often been erased from the grand narratives, ignored by the chroniclers of history. The balance is hard to find, for to write about it risks either rendering it too sentimental or too confined to a narrow scope. But Samantha Harvey is right to point out this delicate tension. It is a dance that must be done with care. If we focus too much on the specificity of the female experience, we risk alienating those who cannot relate. But if we reduce it to something so generalized, we do it a disservice, erasing the unique power that female friendship holds.

The lesson, then, is one of deep reflection: the female friendship is neither a footnote in the grand history of human connection, nor is it a subject so singular and specific that it cannot speak to the heart of all. It is, instead, a balance—a balance that requires a recognition of its uniqueness while also seeing its universal power. The friendship between women carries its own strength, often rooted in shared experience and collective memory, and it is this strength that we must honor.

Practical wisdom, my beloved readers, lies in our own interactions. When we seek to build friendships, particularly those between women, let us not fall into the trap of seeing them as either trivial or extraordinary. Let us cherish them as they are—complex, multifaceted, and deeply nourishing to the soul. To build such a friendship requires us to listen, to understand, and to never diminish its power by treating it as a "niche" subject. To love and support our sisters, our friends, and our companions is to walk in the balance of understanding that their experiences are uniquely theirs, yet still intimately tied to our own.