When I was growing up, my mother was always a friend to my

"When I was growing up, my mother was always a friend to my siblings and me (in addition to being all the other things a mom is), and I was always grateful for that because I knew she was someone I could talk to and joke with, and argue with and that nothing would ever harm that friendship." These heartfelt words spoken by Marlo Thomas illuminate a profound truth about the nature of parental love and friendship. In them, she reveals the unique and irreplaceable role a mother can play—not merely as a caretaker, but as a friend, someone who offers not just guidance but a deep, unwavering connection rooted in mutual understanding and respect. Her mother’s ability to strike this delicate balance between authority and friendship became the foundation of a bond that was resilient, one that remained steadfast in the face of the natural ebbs and flows of family life.

In the ancient world, parents—especially mothers—were often seen as the guardians of wisdom, the ones who imparted the values that shaped not only the individual but the community. The Greek philosopher Plato spoke of the importance of nurturing a child’s soul with both discipline and affection. In his writings, the ideal mother was one who provided not only physical care but also emotional guidance, shaping her child’s character through both love and firmness. Yet, even Plato understood that the greatest strength of a mother lay in her ability to foster a relationship based on mutual respect, where the child could learn to see her not only as a figure of authority but as a trusted friend. This idea of parental friendship, as Marlo Thomas describes, is timeless: a mother who is both a protector and a confidante, someone who offers a safe space for the child to express their thoughts, frustrations, and joys.

The relationship between Achilles and his mother Thetis from Homer’s Iliad offers another powerful example of this balance. Thetis, though a goddess, showed deep compassion for her son, even in the face of his rage and desire for glory. Her friendship with Achilles transcended the typical relationship between a mother and child; she was both a loving protector and a wise advisor. In their conversations, there was room for honest dialogue—for questioning, for conflict, and for mutual understanding. While Achilles was often driven by pride and fury, his mother’s deep love for him provided a foundation of trust, allowing him to share his deepest fears and desires. This bond was not simply one of duty, but of emotional depth, offering a clear example of how parental friendship can guide a child through even the most tumultuous of times.

Similarly, in the Biblical story of Hannah, the mother of Samuel, we see a relationship built not only on the duty of motherhood but on a profound bond of friendship. Hannah, barren for many years, deeply yearned for a child. When she finally bore Samuel, she dedicated him to the service of the Lord, but also remained a source of guidance and love throughout his life. Though Samuel went on to serve as a prophet, their connection was never severed. Even as he grew older and became a man of great influence, Hannah’s role in his life was one of trusted friendship—she was there to listen, to counsel, and to provide the comfort of a mother’s wisdom. Through their friendship, Samuel was able to navigate the complexities of his calling, knowing that his mother’s unwavering support was always there.

Marlo Thomas speaks of a relationship with her mother that allowed for freedom—the freedom to talk, to argue, and to joke. This idea of open communication is at the heart of parental friendship. A mother who offers a safe space for her child to express themselves without fear of judgment or reprisal is one who fosters self-confidence and honesty. In such a relationship, the child learns not only to trust their mother but to trust themselves. The ability to disagree, to share differences of opinion, without the fear of damaging the relationship, is a hallmark of true friendship—a friendship that endures through the trials and tests of life.

The lesson of Marlo Thomas’s words is clear and universal: friendship is not limited to peers, but can also exist between parents and children. In fact, it may be one of the most powerful forms of friendship, grounded not in equality, but in a shared respect for each other’s humanity. Mothers who foster this kind of bond give their children a gift that lasts a lifetime—the gift of unconditional love, trust, and mutual respect. It is through such relationships that children grow not only in obedience but in wisdom, for they know that they have a trusted confidante who will always stand by them, no matter what.

In our own lives, we must strive to embody this friendship in our relationships with our children, siblings, and loved ones. Whether as parents or as friends, we must seek to build connections that are based not only on shared experiences but on empathy, understanding, and mutual respect. Let us open our hearts to the kind of love that allows room for both joy and conflict, for growth and vulnerability. For in the end, it is through these deep, lasting relationships—rooted in friendship—that we find the true meaning of family, and the strength to face the world together.