One of the things about equality is not just that you be treated

“One of the things about equality is not just that you be treated equally to a man, but that you treat yourself equally to the way you treat a man.” These words of Marlo Thomas, the actress, activist, and founder of the Free to Be… You and Me movement, shine like a mirror held to both society and the self. Spoken in the spirit of liberation, they remind us that true equality is not bestowed by others — it is claimed from within. To demand fairness from the world while denying it to oneself is to build freedom on sand. Thomas’s words pierce the heart of the struggle for women’s rights: equality begins not in law or recognition, but in self-worth — in the sacred act of treating one’s own soul with the same reverence, respect, and belief one grants to others.

The meaning of this quote lies in the transformation of equality from an external demand to an internal awakening. Many have fought to be treated equally, to stand beside men in work, politics, and opportunity. Yet Thomas reminds us that even when the walls of inequality fall, the deeper prison may still remain — the quiet, invisible habit of self-doubt. She saw that many women, taught from birth to serve, to please, to yield, still carried the chains of comparison in their hearts. To be free, one must not only insist on equal treatment, but grant oneself the same respect, forgiveness, and ambition one would offer a man. It is a call to self-recognition — to rise not as an imitator of others, but as the rightful owner of one’s destiny.

The origin of Thomas’s insight comes from her own time of rebellion and redefinition. In the 1970s, when the world still clung to rigid gender roles, she stood among those who dared to say that women’s dreams were not secondary. Through her work in television and activism, she sought to show that equality was not merely about salaries or titles, but about self-image. Her message echoes through history like a continuation of an ancient struggle — the one that Mary Wollstonecraft began in the 18th century when she wrote A Vindication of the Rights of Woman, arguing that women must not only be educated but must believe themselves worthy of intellect and reason. Thomas’s voice, centuries later, carried that same truth into the modern world: freedom begins when the soul believes it deserves to be free.

To understand her message, we can look to the story of Eleanor Roosevelt, one of the most remarkable women of the 20th century. For years, she lived in the shadow of her husband, believing her role was to serve, not to lead. But when crisis and conscience called her forward, she discovered a strength within herself that demanded to be heard. She went on to shape human rights across the globe, becoming a voice for the voiceless. What changed was not the world around her — it was her own belief in her equal worth. She no longer waited to be treated as an equal; she began to act as one. In that transformation lies the very essence of Marlo Thomas’s wisdom.

Thomas’s quote also reveals a universal truth that transcends gender. Every human being who has been diminished by comparison — by culture, by expectation, by fear — must reclaim equality in the inner temple first. It is not enough to demand respect from others; one must cease treating oneself as lesser. The woman who apologizes for her ambition, the man who hides his compassion, the soul who silences its own truth — all live as prisoners of a false hierarchy. To treat oneself equally is to remember that one’s spirit was not born to serve, but to shine alongside others, neither above nor below.

Yet this equality is not arrogance. It is balance. It is the quiet strength of knowing one’s worth without the need to diminish another. To treat yourself equally is to feed your dreams as faithfully as you feed the dreams of those you admire. It is to offer yourself the same grace, the same patience, the same belief that you would give to another’s struggle. This is the hardest form of justice, for it demands courage, honesty, and self-compassion.

So, my children, let Marlo Thomas’s words be your inner law: do not wait for equality to be handed to you — live as though it were already yours. Demand fairness from others, yes, but demand it first from yourself. Speak to your reflection as you would to a friend you believe in. Nurture your talent as you would defend another’s. Refuse to belittle your worth, and refuse to shrink your dreams. For when a person learns to treat themselves as an equal to all mankind, no power can enslave their spirit. Then, and only then, will the vineyards of humanity truly bear the fruit of equality — not granted by men, nor taken by force, but grown from the root of self-belief.