Love before marriage is absolutely necessary.

When Samuel Richardson declared, “Love before marriage is absolutely necessary,” he was not speaking merely of sentiment, but of truth, virtue, and understanding—the sacred foundation upon which every lasting union must stand. Richardson, one of the great moral voices of the 18th century, lived in an age where marriages were often matters of convenience, arranged for property, status, or family alliance. Against this tide of cold calculation, his words rose like a cry from the human heart, affirming that love—not wealth, nor lineage, nor social expectation—is the only true cement of marriage. In saying that love must come before marriage, he was not simply urging romance; he was defending the integrity of the soul.

The meaning of his words is both simple and profound. To marry without love is to build a temple without a foundation—it may stand for a time, but it will not endure the storms. Love, in Richardson’s view, is the moral compass that guides two souls through the uncertainties of life. It is not merely passion or desire, but mutual respect, understanding, and affection—a harmony between two beings who recognize in each other not perfection, but goodness. Without love, marriage becomes a transaction; with love, it becomes a covenant. In love there is freedom; in loveless duty, only endurance. Thus, he teaches that the heart must awaken before the vows are spoken, for only then can the vows hold meaning.

Richardson’s wisdom is drawn from his own literary and moral philosophy. In his novels—especially Pamela and Clarissa—he sought to reveal how virtue and affection must walk hand in hand. His heroines are not women who marry for advantage, but women who fight for respect, sincerity, and affection. He lived in a world where women were often traded like property, yet he wrote of them as beings of moral worth, whose hearts and choices mattered. In this context, his quote is revolutionary: a declaration that true union is not born of convenience but of kindred souls. Love before marriage is not a luxury; it is a necessity for honor, happiness, and humanity.

The truth of his teaching has echoed across ages and nations. Consider the story of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert—a union not of arrangement but of genuine affection. Though their marriage served political ends, it was also built upon profound mutual love and respect. Their letters reveal a tenderness and partnership rare among monarchs. Through joy and tragedy, they stood as one, their love deepening into a shared purpose that shaped the spirit of an empire. Their marriage endured because it was founded not upon policy, but upon affection before ceremony—a living testament to Richardson’s belief that love must precede the vows if the vows are to live.

But love before marriage is not a mere emotional indulgence; it is a test of character. It asks: Do you love this person for who they are, or for what they give you? Do you see them with clear eyes, or only through the mist of desire? Richardson understood that love, to be true, must be wise. It must not be blind passion, but discerned affection—a love that knows both the strengths and faults of the beloved and still chooses to remain. Such love does not vanish when the flame of novelty fades; it matures into loyalty, tenderness, and trust. Without that foundation, marriage becomes an empty promise, a cage rather than a home.

There is a quiet courage in his words, for to insist upon love before marriage is to resist the pressures of society, family, and even necessity. It is to say, “I will not bind my life to another unless my heart and conscience consent.” This requires not only feeling but integrity—the strength to honor both one’s own worth and that of another. It demands patience to wait for genuine connection rather than settle for convenience. In this, Richardson speaks not only to lovers, but to all who seek truth in their relationships: that love, in its purest form, must never be rushed, nor traded, nor feigned.

The lesson of this teaching is timeless. Love should be the seed, not the fruit, of marriage. Let it be tested before the vow; let it be known before it is pledged. Seek not a partner who dazzles the eyes, but one who steadies the heart. Be patient enough to wait for the kind of love that can endure silence, conflict, and time. For once the vows are spoken, passion may wane and circumstance may change, but love that was true before marriage will continue to grow after it.

And so, my child, remember the wisdom of Samuel Richardson: do not wed for appearance, or wealth, or fleeting desire. Marry only when love has been proven, when hearts have met not in fantasy but in truth. For love before marriage is not only necessary—it is sacred. It is the thread that binds two destinies into one tapestry, the light that transforms duty into joy, and the strength that turns mortality into memory. Where love precedes the vow, marriage becomes not a contract, but a communion of souls—enduring, ennobling, and eternal.