Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at

"Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night." This candid and somewhat provocative statement by St. Jerome, a towering figure in early Christianity, reflects a deeply human truth about the nature of companionship and the human need for intimacy. At first glance, this remark may seem dismissive of marriage, but in reality, it offers insight into the psychological and emotional aspects of human relationships. St. Jerome suggests that marriage, for some, is less about love or partnership and more about seeking solace from fear or loneliness. It speaks to the natural human desire for connection and the comfort of having another by your side, especially in times of vulnerability or uncertainty.

In the ancient world, the idea of companionship was often tied to both practical needs and emotional fulfillment. In Greek society, marriage was viewed not only as a union of hearts but also as a social contract, essential for the continuation of family lines and the protection of property. Yet, even in a society where marriage was often more about stability than romantic love, Aristotle reflected on the importance of companionship in human life. He argued that true happiness is found in relationships where both partners mutually enrich each other's lives, not merely by fulfilling needs, but by fostering deep, meaningful connection. In this sense, St. Jerome’s words may resonate with the idea that marriage offers security, not only in the physical sense but also in emotional safety, especially for those who fear solitude.

Consider the tale of Socrates and his relationship with Xanthippe, his wife. Though she is often remembered in history as a figure of frustration to Socrates, their union was one of mutual necessity. Socrates, known for his philosophical pursuits, was frequently away from home, absorbed in dialogue and thought, leaving Xanthippe to manage the household. Yet, in their marriage, there was a deep interdependence that allowed both to navigate the demands of their lives. Socrates’ partnership with Xanthippe was not founded on romantic ideals alone, but on the recognition of the need for companionship to fulfill the obligations of family and society. Though they were often at odds, their union shows that marriage, as St. Jerome suggests, can sometimes be a remedy for loneliness—a means to ensure that neither person is left facing the trials of life entirely alone.

St. Jerome’s statement also echoes the thoughts of Roman philosophers like Cicero, who believed that companionship in marriage was essential for emotional fulfillment. Cicero, who valued the idea of mutual support, saw marriage as a relationship where both partners were tasked with providing emotional comfort, in addition to fulfilling social and familial duties. In his letters, Cicero often spoke of his wife, Terentia, as a source of support during times of political and personal upheaval. Their bond, while rooted in the pragmatic needs of Roman society, also offered solace in times of distress. Thus, marriage was not just about legal contract or economic security, but also about mutual reassurance against the fear of isolation.

In our modern world, St. Jerome’s words can seem like a critique of romantic love or the idealized vision of marriage often portrayed in literature and culture. Yet, his reflection remains powerful because it taps into the universal truth that human beings seek connection, especially when faced with the dread of being alone. In times of vulnerability—whether in youth, old age, or moments of emotional distress—many find comfort in the presence of another. St. Jerome’s remark reminds us that marriage, for all its complexities, offers reassurance against the fear of solitude, providing a sense of security in a world that can often feel overwhelming.

The lesson in St. Jerome's words is one of self-awareness and honesty. While marriage is often celebrated as the highest form of companionship, we must understand that not all relationships are rooted in romantic ideals or emotional fulfillment. For some, marriage can be driven by a desire to overcome loneliness, rather than to seek an ideal partnership. This understanding allows us to be more honest about our own desires in relationships and to recognize that the fear of loneliness is a natural and shared experience. It also invites us to cultivate deeper connections with those around us—whether in marriage, friendship, or community—so that we may combat loneliness not through dependency, but through mutual care and support.

In our own lives, we can take St. Jerome’s wisdom as an invitation to reflect on our motivations in relationships. Do we seek others for love and companionship, or do we seek them to fill a void created by fear or insecurity? Whether in marriage, friendship, or community, let us strive to build relationships that offer not only security but also growth, where both partners can support each other in becoming their best selves. By recognizing our shared human need for connection, we can create relationships that are both nurturing and empowering, allowing us to face the challenges of life not with fear, but with strength and mutual respect.