My perfect guy wears converse, is totally laid back, and doesn't

In the vast sea of human experience, there are many who seek to wear the cloak of coolness, chasing after the approval of others, or adhering to the ever-changing whims of fashion and societal expectations. But Selena Gomez, in her simple yet profound words, offers a refreshing perspective on authenticity and self-expression. “My perfect guy wears converse, is totally laid back, and doesn’t worry about being cool.” These words carry a powerful message, one that speaks not to the external trappings of style or status, but to the internal peace and comfort found in being truly oneself. It is not the pursuit of coolness that defines us, but the quiet confidence that comes from accepting ourselves and embracing simplicity.

In the ancient world, the great philosophers often spoke of the virtues of self-contentment and authenticity. Socrates, the wise philosopher, famously proclaimed that the unexamined life was not worth living. Yet, his teachings also emphasized that true wisdom lies in self-knowledge and living in alignment with our inner truths, rather than chasing the approval of the world. Just as Socrates taught that happiness and peace come from within, so too does Selena Gomez’s quote reflect the deeper wisdom that it is not the appearance of coolness that matters, but the peace and genuineness of one’s spirit.

Consider the story of Diogenes, the ancient Greek philosopher known for his extreme simplicity and rejection of societal norms. Diogenes lived in a barrel, abandoned material wealth, and scorned the notion of status or appearance. He wandered the streets of Athens with no concern for the judgments of others, embodying the very spirit of self-acceptance that Selena Gomez alludes to. Diogenes was not concerned with being seen as cool or fashionable; he sought only to live authentically, free from the burdens of social expectations. His life, though unconventional, carried a profound message: true freedom comes not from conforming to the world’s standards, but from living in alignment with one’s inner truth.

In Selena Gomez’s ideal, the “perfect guy” is not defined by external appearances or a desire to impress others. Instead, he is someone who wears converse—a symbol of comfort, simplicity, and individuality. Converse, in this context, represent a choice to reject the fleeting trends of high fashion in favor of something timeless and unpretentious. This is the true essence of coolness—not in the striving to be admired, but in the quiet confidence of being true to oneself. The perfect guy, as Gomez describes him, is someone who is laid back, not caught in the relentless pursuit of social approval, but someone who is at ease with who they are and where they are in life.

This idea of laid back confidence is echoed in the lives of those who have shaped history, not through their wealth, power, or prestige, but through their character and authenticity. Take, for example, Leonardo da Vinci, one of history’s greatest minds. Da Vinci was not concerned with the conventions of his time or with impressing the elite of Florence. He was a man deeply immersed in the world of curiosity and discovery, whose art and inventions transcended the world’s fleeting judgments. He embodied the quiet confidence of one who focused on creation and truth rather than the performance of societal expectations.

The lesson of Selena Gomez’s words is a timeless one: true greatness and fulfillment come not from the external pursuit of coolness, but from the inward journey of self-acceptance and simplicity. To be laid back in the truest sense is not about indifference or apathy, but about embracing life’s natural flow without the constant need to perform for others. It is about choosing genuineness over impressing others, and finding peace in authenticity rather than in the praise of those who may never understand you.

In our own lives, we must take to heart the wisdom of simplicity. The perfect guy, as Gomez describes, is a person who has chosen comfort over the chaos of societal pressures, and authenticity over the pursuit of external validation. Let us embrace the converse of our own lives—simple, unpretentious, and true to who we are. Let us walk through the world with the quiet confidence of one who knows that being cool is not about fitting in, but about standing firm in who we are, regardless of the judgments of others. For when we embrace our true selves, we find that we are, in fact, the most powerful, beautiful, and authentic versions of who we were always meant to be.