Now that I think about it, my 40th birthday was the most anxiety
Now that I think about it, my 40th birthday was the most anxiety I've ever had, and my wedding was also the second time I've had that much anxiety. So I'm starting to realize that I can't be throwing these big bash parties because I need to own that I get anxiety with a lot of people diverting their attention to me.
In the confession of Jeannie Mai, we hear the voice of one who has looked inward and uncovered a truth about herself. She recalls her 40th birthday, a day when joy should have been unclouded, yet she felt the weight of anxiety heavier than ever before. Again, on her wedding, a sacred day of union, she felt that same storm of the heart. From these two moments, she draws the wisdom that grand celebrations—those great feasts where countless eyes turn toward one soul—may not bring her peace but instead awaken unrest. Thus she learns the eternal teaching: to know oneself is the beginning of freedom.
For the ancients, the struggle between outward honor and inward peace was well known. Many kings dreaded their own coronations, for the gaze of the multitude is as heavy as chains of iron. To stand before many is to feel their expectations pierce the soul. So too does Mai’s reflection remind us that not every heart is fashioned for the clamor of big parties. Some spirits flourish in intimacy, where love is felt in whispers rather than in thunder.
History tells of Emperor Marcus Aurelius, the philosopher-king. Though he was master of Rome, he confessed in his writings that the weight of the crowd and the adulation of the masses brought him no comfort. He found solace not in spectacle, but in quiet contemplation and the company of a few trusted souls. In this we see mirrored Mai’s realization: that the value of a celebration is not in its size, but in whether it nourishes the heart of the one who celebrates.
The teaching here is profound. Society often proclaims that milestones must be marked with grandeur, with feasts, with lights and countless witnesses. Yet true wisdom lies in choosing the form of joy that fits the soul. For some, happiness is in the roaring hall; for others, it is in the gentle circle of a few who love without judgment. Anxiety is not weakness—it is the soul’s signal that one’s spirit seeks a different kind of light.
Therefore let this truth be passed down: greatness is not in the scale of the celebration, but in the harmony of the heart. To “own” one’s anxiety, as Mai declares, is to walk in strength, for it is the courage to say, “This is who I am, and this is how I will honor myself.” In her words we find a call to all who tremble under the weight of many eyes: do not fear the small gathering, for it may hold more love than the grandest of banquets. Peace, not spectacle, is the truest gift we can give ourselves.
LMLuffy Monkey-D
This quote really highlights something that a lot of people might not talk about—anxiety surrounding celebrations. It’s easy to assume that everyone enjoys big events, but for some, it’s the exact opposite. Jeannie Mai’s realization about needing to own her feelings shows a lot of self-awareness. What do you think—do we put too much pressure on ourselves to have grand celebrations, or should we embrace a more intimate and personal way to mark special occasions?
NQNguyen Thi Ngoc Quynh
I completely understand where Jeannie Mai is coming from. Sometimes, all the attention and expectations around major events can make you feel anxious rather than happy. It’s brave of her to recognize her limits and decide not to throw huge parties. Do you think it’s common for people to feel this way, or is it more about personal preferences and the pressure of ‘celebrating big’?
TTPhung Thi Thu Thuy
It’s so relatable when Jeannie Mai talks about feeling anxious with everyone’s attention on her. Big parties or celebrations can be overwhelming, even if they’re meant to be joyful. I wonder if this anxiety stems from feeling like you have to perform or live up to expectations. How do you think people can create a more relaxed, enjoyable experience without putting themselves in stressful situations?
TTKim Cuc Tran Thi
Jeannie Mai’s honesty about the anxiety she felt during her 40th birthday and wedding is refreshing. It makes me wonder how many others experience similar emotions during major life events. I wonder if there's a balance between wanting to celebrate milestones and dealing with the stress of being the center of attention. How do you think people can manage that kind of anxiety while still celebrating with loved ones?
LDLe Duong
This quote really speaks to the pressure that comes with big events, like birthdays and weddings. It’s interesting how Jeannie Mai acknowledges her anxiety and the impact that having attention focused on her has. I think a lot of people can relate to that feeling, especially those who aren’t used to being in the spotlight. Do you think there’s a way to enjoy these big moments without feeling overwhelmed by the attention?