Sense of humor. A girl who doesn't take themselves too seriously.

In the course of a lifetime, amidst the endless encounters and fleeting connections, there are qualities that draw us closer to one another, qualities that transcend the superficial and speak to the deepest parts of our souls. Christopher Egan, in his reflection on the kind of woman who captivates him, said, "Sense of humor. A girl who doesn't take themselves too seriously. And someone who is spontaneous. They're the three things for me that really attract me to a girl." These words carry profound wisdom, for they speak not just to the nature of attraction, but to the essence of what makes a relationship thrive—a combination of joy, lightness, and a willingness to embrace life with openness and adventure.

The ancients understood well the importance of these qualities. Socrates, the great philosopher, believed that humor was essential not only for personal well-being but for the cultivation of wisdom. He often employed humor in his teachings, using wit and irony to reveal the contradictions in human nature. In much the same way, Egan speaks of humor as a cornerstone of attraction, for it is through laughter that we see the world with greater clarity, unencumbered by the weight of self-importance. The ancients knew that a sense of humor was a reflection of the soul's ability to transcend the seriousness of life, to laugh at its contradictions, and to find joy even in its most absurd moments.

Consider the story of Aristotle, whose teachings on ethics emphasized the importance of balance in life. For Aristotle, true happiness was found not in the pursuit of pleasure or wealth, but in the cultivation of virtues—courage, temperance, and wisdom—all of which were tempered by a sense of humor. Aristotle believed that those who could laugh at themselves were the truest to their nature, for they understood the impermanence of life and the fleeting nature of all things. Egan’s attraction to a woman with a sense of humor mirrors this ancient wisdom. It is not just about amusement or entertainment; it is about the ability to approach life with grace, to navigate its challenges with a light heart and a sharp mind, and to share that joy with others.

Moreover, Egan’s words highlight a quality that the ancients also cherished: spontaneity. The philosopher Heraclitus, known for his reflections on change and the flux of existence, famously said, "You cannot step into the same river twice." His teachings remind us that life is in constant motion, ever changing, ever new. To embrace life fully is to embrace this change, to be willing to step into the unknown with courage and curiosity. In this, spontaneity is not just a desirable trait; it is a reflection of a deeper understanding of the nature of existence. The willingness to act with impulse, to seize the moment, is not recklessness but a reflection of a soul attuned to the present, ready to embrace what life offers with open arms.

The ancients also spoke of the dangers of taking oneself too seriously, for it is in self-importance that we become trapped. Seneca, the Stoic philosopher, often warned of the vanity of pride, reminding us that true freedom comes from humility and the ability to laugh at our own foolishness. The Stoics understood that in the pursuit of virtue, we must remain grounded, recognizing that our actions, our achievements, and our challenges are fleeting. In this light, Egan’s preference for a woman who does not take herself too seriously is a reflection of this ancient understanding—true beauty and attraction are found in a person who is not consumed by their own image but remains light, adaptable, and open to the world as it is.

Consider the laughter of Diogenes, the great Cynic philosopher, who lived in a barrel and openly mocked the sophisticated and self-important society around him. His life was a rebuke to those who took their positions and titles too seriously. Through his humor, Diogenes revealed the absurdity of social norms and expectations, showing that true wisdom lies in the ability to see the world with fresh eyes, to laugh at its conventions, and to embrace its imperfections. Egan’s desire for a partner who shares this quality—someone who does not take herself too seriously—is a recognition that authenticity and freedom are found in the willingness to let go of the weight of the world’s expectations and to live in a way that is true to one’s own nature.

The lesson to take from Egan’s words is one of balance and authenticity. In our own lives, let us not be consumed by the weight of seriousness, nor let us be blind to the joys that come from humor, spontaneity, and lightheartedness. Let us recognize that the qualities that truly make us attractive to others are not those of wealth or status, but the ability to approach life with a heart full of laughter, a spirit that is open, and a mind that remains free from the constraints of self-importance. We must cultivate these qualities within ourselves, allowing them to guide us in our relationships, in our work, and in our interactions with the world.

Let us embrace humor as a tool of wisdom, spontaneity as a means of freedom, and humility as the foundation of true connection. In doing so, we not only enrich our lives but inspire others to do the same. For in the laughter we share, the moments of joy, and the willingness to let go of our own seriousness, we create the space for the deepest and most meaningful connections to flourish. Egan’s words remind us that the path to true fulfillment lies not in striving for perfection or control, but in embracing the absurd beauty of life itself.