Style is innate to who I am. My father gave me a picture the
Style is innate to who I am. My father gave me a picture the other day. I must have been about seven, and I had on wing-tip shoes and some cool pants. I thought, 'Wow!'
"Style is innate to who I am. My father gave me a picture the other day. I must have been about seven, and I had on wing-tip shoes and some cool pants. I thought, 'Wow!'" These words spoken by Dylan McDermott speak to the power and nature of style—a force that goes beyond mere fashion or outward appearance and connects deeply with one’s identity. McDermott reflects on a moment from his childhood, when his father showed him a picture of himself at the age of seven, looking effortlessly stylish, wearing wing-tip shoes and cool pants. This recollection underscores the timeless nature of style, suggesting that it is not something learned or acquired through trends, but something innate—woven into the very fabric of who we are. It is not simply about following the rules of fashion, but about embodying a personal essence that resonates outward, telling the world who we are without words.
The ancients understood the profound connection between style and identity, though they may have called it by different names. Socrates, the philosopher of ancient Greece, famously said, "Know thyself." In his time, style and appearance were seen as reflections of one’s character and virtue. To dress in a way that aligned with one’s inner nature was seen as an outward expression of self-awareness and integrity. The Stoics, too, placed great emphasis on the idea that external appearances should not overshadow internal virtue. However, they recognized that a person’s demeanor—how they carried themselves, how they dressed, and how they presented themselves to the world—was an important reflection of their inner truth. This idea is echoed in McDermott’s words, where style is not a superficial or fleeting thing, but an expression of his authentic self, grounded in a deep understanding of who he is.
Consider the Roman statesman Cicero, who believed that personal dignity and reputation were intertwined with one’s appearance and actions. Cicero often emphasized that the way one presented themselves to the public—through both dress and conduct—was a direct reflection of their character. For Cicero, a man of virtue and wisdom would naturally express that through a sense of self-respect that could not be separated from his outward appearance. In this sense, Cicero might have understood the depth of McDermott’s reflection—style is not just about clothes, but a reflection of who we are at our core.
The story McDermott shares about his father showing him a picture from his childhood speaks to the legacy of style passed down through generations. This connection between a father and son mirrors the ways in which values, wisdom, and even aesthetic preferences are often handed down from one generation to the next. Socrates spoke of how the wisdom of the elders should be passed to the younger generation, not through the imposition of strict rules but through guidance, example, and reflection. McDermott’s father, through the simple gift of a photograph, passed on more than just an image of fashion—it was a moment of connection, where McDermott could see a reflection of his identity taking shape, even at such a young age. His father didn’t just give him a picture of clothes, but a glimpse into the essence of style as an expression of self-knowledge and confidence.
Style, as McDermott suggests, is innate—it comes from within. It is the culmination of one’s upbringing, experiences, and the unspoken communication of who we are to the world. Just as the ancient heroes were often known not just for their deeds, but for the honor with which they carried themselves, so too does McDermott’s style represent more than the clothes he wears. Achilles, for example, was not only known for his bravery and strength on the battlefield but also for his noble bearing, which was an outward symbol of the integrity that lay within. For McDermott, style is a tool of self-expression, a way to present his inner world in a manner that feels natural, unforced, and true to his character.
The lesson we can take from McDermott’s reflection is one of self-expression and authenticity. Style, much like wisdom or character, is not something that can be fabricated or manufactured; it is the natural result of embracing who we are and allowing that to manifest in the way we present ourselves to the world. It is an outward reflection of inner confidence, a way of saying, "I know who I am, and I am comfortable with it." Whether in the choice of clothes, mannerisms, or behavior, style is a form of communication—a means by which we tell others about our values, our spirit, and our sense of belonging in the world.
In our own lives, we must strive to cultivate a style that is authentically ours—one that is not shaped by the fleeting trends of society, but by an inner confidence and a deep understanding of our true selves. This means embracing our individuality, honoring the values passed down through generations, and choosing to express ourselves in a way that feels natural and right for us. Style, after all, is not about impressing others or fitting into a mold; it is about celebrating who we are and sharing that joy with the world. Just as McDermott reflects on the importance of his father’s legacy, we too can learn to inherit and build upon the wisdom of those who came before us, while also expressing our own unique truth in every aspect of our lives.
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