Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your

Hear now the words of P. J. O’Rourke, a humorist of sharp mind and gentle heart, who spoke thus: “Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.” Though simple in phrasing, these words carry the weight of ancient wisdom, for they speak not only of laughter but of the shaping of spirit. To tease well, to laugh wisely, to share joy amid the trials of life—these are the foundations of harmony within the home and peace within the heart.

The ancients knew that laughter is the music of understanding. It is the bridge that spans the gap between generations, temperaments, and tempests of the soul. When O’Rourke speaks of teasing, he does not mean the cruelty of mockery, but the playful art of affection—the gentle testing of love’s boundaries that teaches both humility and resilience. For when a child can laugh at himself without shame, he becomes strong; when a parent can laugh with his child rather than over him, he becomes wise. Thus, humor becomes not mere amusement but a sacred bond, a thread that weaves hearts together through the loom of daily life.

Consider the tale of Abraham Lincoln, whose burdens as a leader were immense, yet who carried with him the gift of laughter. In the darkest hours of war, when the nation trembled and despair pressed close, Lincoln was known to tell stories—humble, witty tales drawn from the soil of common life. His advisers once scolded him, saying, “How can you laugh in such times?” To which he replied, “I laugh because I must not cry. If I did not laugh, I would die.” Herein lies the secret that O’Rourke points toward: humor is not the denial of suffering, but the refusal to be conquered by it. It is strength disguised as mirth.

In the home, too, this truth endures. A family that can laugh together cannot easily be broken. Teasing, when born of love, teaches the young that affection can be firm without being harsh, that correction can come with warmth, and that vulnerability need not bring shame. It trains the soul to endure life’s sharper jokes—the world’s disappointments, failures, and flaws—without bitterness. A home filled with humor becomes a fortress of gentleness, where words heal instead of wound. Such a house breathes harmony, its walls echoing not with complaint, but with the soft thunder of shared laughter.

But there is caution within this wisdom. Teasing must never cross into scorn; for what strengthens in balance can destroy in excess. The laughter that builds must be laced with kindness, never cruelty. The ancients spoke of this as measured jest, the virtue of humor guided by compassion. Just as the blacksmith tempers fire with water to forge a stronger blade, so must humor be tempered by love to forge a stronger soul. The wise parent knows this balance and teaches it—not by decree, but by example, by showing that laughter and respect are kin.

Let this lesson be passed to all who would guide the young: teach your children to laugh wisely. Show them that the world, though often harsh, can still be met with joy. Teach them to see the absurdity of fear, the comedy in failure, and the grace that lives in imperfection. When they learn to find light amid the shadows, they will never be swallowed by the dark. For a sense of humor is more than a trait—it is armor for the spirit, a lamp for the long journey, and a reminder that love is strongest when it can smile.

And so, O listener, take this teaching into your home. Exercise humor not as escape, but as a practice of love. Tease gently, laugh freely, and let the sound of mirth become the heartbeat of your family. For laughter is not only the echo of happiness—it is the seed of understanding, the balm of conflict, and the proof that even in the smallness of our days, something eternal lives within us. As P. J. O’Rourke reminds us, when humor is nurtured among kin, the air itself becomes lighter, and the home becomes not merely a dwelling, but a sanctuary for the human soul.