The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the

In the words of Benjamin Spock: “The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering.” Within this saying lies an ancient truth: that youth is filled with energy, raw strength, and boundless potential, but it is the wisdom of elders that gives direction to this force. The child is like a rushing river, powerful and alive, but unless guided by banks and channels, its waters may scatter and lose themselves in the wilderness. The task of the parents is not to extinguish this force, but to steer it toward purpose, to transform raw vitality into a current that brings life rather than destruction.

The ancients often spoke of the balance between passion and discipline. The power of the young has ever been a flame—bright, restless, and consuming. Left untended, fire devours; but harnessed, fire warms, illuminates, and creates. So too with children: they bring the force of curiosity, imagination, and will. But they look to the parents, the seasoned guides of the household, to give shape to this energy, to direct it toward virtue, wisdom, and strength. To neglect the steering is to abandon the future to chaos.

Consider the story of Aristotle and Alexander the Great. Alexander, as a youth, was filled with immense drive and ambition—his power was undeniable. But it was Aristotle, acting as mentor, who steered that energy toward philosophy, governance, and vision. Though Alexander’s path became one of conquest, it was shaped by the steering of a wise guide. Without such direction, his fiery energy might have dissolved into recklessness; with it, he became one of history’s most formidable leaders. The example shows that the child’s raw force, though mighty, must be coupled with guidance lest it go astray.

Dr. Spock, a modern physician of children, understood what sages had long taught: that discipline and nurturing are not enemies, but partners. A parent does not break the will of the child but gives it course, like a helmsman on a stormy sea. To steer is not to dominate, but to lead with a steady hand. It is the act of shaping without crushing, of directing without extinguishing. Thus, the art of parenting is neither indulgence nor tyranny, but the noble balance of allowing energy to flow while guiding it toward the harbor of maturity.

Yet, there is also warning in these words. For when the parents fail in their duty to steer, the child may expend their power recklessly, squandering gifts that could have built empires of goodness. A generation without guidance is like an army without a general—courageous perhaps, but aimless, and doomed to be scattered. The wisdom of elders is not a restraint meant to stifle, but a compass to ensure that strength is spent with purpose.

The lesson is timeless: honor the power of children, but never abandon the steering. Parents must see themselves as shepherds, not jailers; as guides, not dictators. The child is not a vessel to be filled but a flame to be directed. When steered with patience, love, and discipline, the energy of youth can change the world. When left unsteered, it may burn itself away.

Practical action lies close at hand. If you are a parent, guide by example—live the virtues you wish to see in your children, for direction given by words alone is weak. Offer discipline, but also encouragement; give boundaries, but also room to grow. If you are a teacher or mentor, remember that your task is not only to inform but to steer, to help channel the power of those entrusted to you toward lives of meaning. And if you are a child grown into adulthood, honor those who once steered you, and resolve to pass on the same guidance to those who come after.

Thus, Spock’s words endure as a beacon: the child is the force, the pulse of the future, but the parents are the compass, the rudder, the hand upon the tiller. Together, power and direction forge destiny. And when this sacred partnership is honored, the child does not merely live—they journey with purpose, and their strength becomes a blessing to all.