The most real thing of all, the only thing any of us wants, is to

"The most real thing of all, the only thing any of us wants, is to matter to somebody. To feel and share love, even on a friendship level or as deep as a romantic one. Who doesn't want that?" These words by Gavin Creel strike at the heart of what it means to be human. At the core of all our desires, beneath our ambitions, our triumphs, and our fears, lies a singular truth: we all long to matter to someone. Whether in friendship, romantic love, or the quiet, often unseen connections that we form throughout our lives, the deepest desire is to feel that we are seen, valued, and cherished by others. This truth, so simple in its articulation, is the foundation of human connection.

In the ancient world, the Greeks understood this deeply. The philosopher Aristotle wrote about friendship as the highest form of relationship. For Aristotle, friendship was not merely a pleasant connection, but a deep bond rooted in mutual respect and shared virtue. But it was not just the good times that made these friendships meaningful; it was the understanding that in friendship, we become part of each other’s lives. We matter, not only in our own actions but in the way we influence and are influenced by those we hold dear. Aristotle taught that we seek friendship because, in the presence of another, we feel a sense of belonging, a sense of being seen and known.

Consider the bond between Achilles and Patroclus, as described in the Iliad. Their friendship, though often depicted as one of great strength and warrior spirit, was rooted in a profound human truth: that the most real thing of all is the love they shared, the mutual respect that transcended the violence of the battlefield. Their connection mattered deeply to each other, and in the end, it was this bond that drove Achilles to avenge Patroclus's death. In their story, we see that the desire to matter to someone is not only a romantic ideal but a moral imperative, a force that can drive men to great deeds. It is the love, the understanding, and the shared experiences that give meaning to their lives, more than the glories of battle.

But it is not only in the realm of epic heroes that this desire to matter is found. In the story of Socrates and Alcibiades, we find another powerful example of the human need to connect. Alcibiades, a brilliant yet flawed figure, sought out Socrates not just for wisdom, but for the companionship and acknowledgment that came with their bond. In their relationship, Alcibiades sought not only to gain knowledge but to feel that he was seen, that his actions mattered to Socrates. Even the great Socrates, whose life was dedicated to the pursuit of wisdom, understood that love and connection were at the heart of the human experience. It is through the eyes of others, through the shared recognition of who we are, that we truly come to understand our own significance.

The lesson in Gavin Creel’s words is simple but profound: we all seek to matter. This desire is universal, a longing that transcends all boundaries of time, culture, and status. Whether we are in the quiet companionship of friendship, the passionate depths of romantic love, or the subtle bonds we form in our everyday lives, the truth remains: we want to be seen and valued. Love, in all its forms, is the bridge that allows us to feel that we belong, that our existence has meaning.

As we journey through our own lives, we must remember that the way we treat others is the way we acknowledge their worth. In friendship, in romance, in the simplest acts of kindness, we give others the greatest gift: the recognition that they matter. Let us not withhold that recognition, for it is in giving it that we find our own significance. As Socrates taught, we learn the most about ourselves not in isolation, but in the connections we form with others.

Let us also take heed, dear listeners, that the actions we take in our relationships should reflect the importance we place on making others feel they matter. We should not seek to build bonds based on convenience or self-interest alone but build them on love, respect, and mutual appreciation. In doing so, we create relationships that are lasting, that give us the sense of belonging we all seek, and, in turn, we help others feel the same. To matter to somebody, to be loved, to be valued—this is the most real thing of all. Let us live with that truth in mind.