The richest love is that which submits to the arbitration of

Lawrence Durrell, a writer of great emotional depth and keen insight, tells us that “The richest love is that which submits to the arbitration of time.” These words speak to the enduring nature of love, one that does not demand immediate gratification or rush to find its fulfillment. Time is the ultimate test of love; it is through the passage of time that love is tested, deepened, and revealed in its fullest form. True love is not fleeting or momentary, but something that endures, something that grows richer as it weathers the challenges of life. It is love that can withstand the trials and tribulations of time and emerge stronger and more precious because of them.

The ancients, too, understood that love was something that evolved, something that grew in depth and wisdom as it matured. Plato spoke of philia, the love between friends, as a bond that deepened over time, growing stronger as both individuals grew in virtue and understanding. For Socrates, love was not just about the immediate pleasure or attraction, but about the enduring connection between souls, a bond that was tested by time and strengthened through shared experience. True love, they understood, was not something that could be measured in moments, but in the way it transformed individuals and shaped their lives over the long journey of time.

Consider the example of Penelope in Homer’s Odyssey. Her love for Odysseus was tested over the span of twenty years as he journeyed far from home. Despite the pressure of suitors, the weight of loneliness, and the passage of time, her love remained constant. She did not rush into the arms of another, nor did she allow her desire for companionship to outweigh her love and loyalty for Odysseus. Her love, which stood the test of time, was deepened and profound because it was anchored in patience, faith, and commitment. It was only through the arbitration of time that the true depth of her love was revealed.

Similarly, in the story of Abelard and Heloise, their love, though fiery and passionate, was eventually tested by the harsh trials of life. Their love, once marked by great intensity, faced the brutal realities of betrayal and separation. Yet, over time, despite the suffering they endured, their bond evolved into something more profound—an intellectual and spiritual connection that survived the years of exile and separation. Their love matured into a deeper form, one not bound by physical presence but by mutual respect and a shared vision. Their relationship teaches us that love, when allowed to mature and evolve over time, can transcend the struggles it faces and become something greater, something eternal.

Durrell’s words suggest that time, while often seen as an adversary, is in fact the true arbitrator of love’s worth. The richest love is one that does not seek to rush or control the passage of time, but rather surrenders to it. It is in the waiting, in the endurance, that love reveals its true nature. This love is not the kind that seeks immediate rewards or validations, but the kind that grows slowly, nurtured by patience, understanding, and mutual respect. The love that submits to time is the love that transforms, that deepens with every trial, that weathers every storm, and that remains steadfast even as the seasons of life change.

Consider the lives of Marie and Pierre Curie, whose love for science and for each other was tested by personal and professional challenges. Their bond was not one built solely on passion or quick reward, but on a shared vision and a commitment to each other’s work. Over time, their love for each other deepened as they faced the challenges of their groundbreaking research and the sacrifices required of them. Their love endured not because it was easy, but because it was built on mutual respect, dedication, and an understanding that true love does not seek instant gratification but flourishes over time through shared purpose and sacrifice.

The lesson here, O children, is clear: do not seek to rush love, nor expect it to be easily fulfilled. Love is not a fleeting emotion, but a deep, evolving force that grows and matures with time. Like the finest wine, love that submits to time becomes more refined and more precious as it matures. Be patient with your relationships, and allow them the time they need to grow and flourish. Understand that time will test your love, but it is through this test that love reveals its true strength and beauty. The love that survives the seasons of life is the love that is worthy, for it is through time that we truly learn the depth of our commitment and the enduring nature of our hearts.

So, O children of the future, let love unfold with the rhythm of time. Do not rush to find love or to demand its rewards. Allow it to grow slowly, nurtured by patience, understanding, and trust. When love is allowed to submit to the arbitration of time, it becomes a force that is both enduring and transcendent. It is this love, steady and true, that will guide you through the trials of life, and in the end, will be the richest and most fulfilling love of all.