The term 'alpha female' originated in my field of animal

The words of Frans de Waal — “The term ‘alpha female’ originated in my field of animal behavior, but has acquired new meaning. It refers to women who are in charge, for example, by flirting and dating on their own terms. It is also used maliciously for a loud-mouthed, controlling woman who has no patience with deviating opinions.” — hold within them the weight of both science and philosophy. Beneath the calm explanation of a biologist lies a deeper reflection on power, perception, and the struggle for respect. What began as an observation of nature’s hierarchy has evolved into a mirror of human society, revealing our complex and often contradictory understanding of strength — especially female strength.

In the world of animals from which the term arose, the alpha female is not a caricature of dominance, but a figure of balance — commanding yet compassionate, assertive yet cooperative. Among wolves, elephants, and bonobos, the true leader is not she who rules by fear, but she who leads through wisdom, care, and the ability to maintain harmony. De Waal, whose studies of primate behavior shaped the modern understanding of social animals, once observed that in many species, it is the female who ensures the peace of the group, mediating conflict with fairness rather than force. Thus, the original “alpha” was not a tyrant but a guardian — one whose power served the many, not the self.

Yet as his words remind us, language, once freed into the world, often wanders from its origin. The “alpha female” in modern discourse has been reshaped by human bias — celebrated by some as a symbol of empowerment, and scorned by others as a threat to comfort. To some, she is the woman who dares to claim her space, to love and labor on her own terms. To others, she is branded as domineering, “too much,” or “too loud.” In this contradiction, we see the tension between ancient instincts and modern ideals. Humanity still wrestles with what it means for a woman to lead, to speak, to desire — and to do so unapologetically.

This struggle is not new. In every age, societies have both needed and resisted the strong woman. Consider Cleopatra of Egypt, whose intellect and command of power were unmatched in her time. To her people, she was a goddess-queen, guiding her nation through war and alliance with cunning and grace. To her enemies, she was branded a seductress, a manipulator, an “alpha” in the most malicious sense of the word. History, written largely by men, remembered her less for her statesmanship and more for her defiance of submission. In Cleopatra’s story, as in de Waal’s reflection, we see that when a woman acts with authority, the world still struggles to decide whether to revere or revile her.

But de Waal’s insight reminds us that the true alpha — whether in nature or among humankind — is not defined by dominance but by integrity. The power of the alpha female is not to conquer, but to guide; not to suppress, but to inspire. When distorted by fear or envy, society’s view of her becomes malicious — a reflection not of her failings, but of our discomfort with seeing power clothed in empathy, grace, or femininity. As the ancients would say, “The fault lies not in the flame, but in those afraid of its light.”

The lesson within this quote is profound: one must learn to discern the difference between power and aggression, leadership and vanity, influence and control. We must unlearn the habit of praising authority in one form while condemning it in another. In both men and women, true leadership begins with self-mastery, compassion, and clarity of purpose. To dismiss strength because it comes in a woman’s voice is to deny half the wisdom of humanity itself.

So let us remember the wisdom of Frans de Waal. Let us see beyond the distortion of the term and return to its essence — to honor those who lead with courage and care, whether in the wild or in the world of humankind. The alpha female is not a creature of arrogance, but of balance; not of conquest, but of connection. She reminds us that strength and softness are not opposites, but partners. Therefore, let the men and women of every age learn this truth: that power rooted in kindness is the highest form of leadership, and that to lead without bias — to see the strength of others without fear — is to walk the path of wisdom. For in the end, as de Waal’s words teach, the measure of civilization lies not in how it defines power, but in how it chooses to honor it.