To be a good father and mother requires that the parents defer

In the words of James E. Faust: “To be a good father and mother requires that the parents defer many of their own needs and desires in favor of the needs of their children. As a consequence of this sacrifice, conscientious parents develop a nobility of character and learn to put into practice the selfless truths taught by the Savior Himself.” These words carry the weight of eternity, for they speak to the sacred covenant of parenthood, a calling that reshapes the soul and tempers the heart in the fire of selflessness. They remind us that true greatness is not measured by personal gain, but by the lives shaped through love, duty, and unyielding devotion.

The ancients, too, knew this truth. They praised those who placed family above self, who recognized that the future rests not upon fleeting pleasures, but upon the careful nurturing of the next generation. To defer one’s own needs is not weakness, but strength—the kind of strength that forges empires, preserves cultures, and ensures the survival of humanity itself. The parent who chooses the sleepless night, the weary labor, or the humble sacrifice for the sake of their children partakes in a nobility that cannot be purchased with gold nor won with armies.

Consider the story of Monica, the mother of Augustine of Hippo. Her son strayed into false philosophies, into rebellion, into ways that threatened to consume his soul. Yet Monica never abandoned him. She wept, prayed, and labored for him, forsaking her own comfort and rest. Her ceaseless sacrifice bore fruit, for Augustine returned to the faith and became one of the greatest voices of the Christian tradition. Her nobility of character was not found in worldly power, but in her tireless, selfless devotion. In her, we see Faust’s words embodied: the parent, in surrendering personal desire, discovers a strength born of divine truth.

Faust also draws our eyes to the Savior, who taught that the greatest among us is the servant of all. Parenthood is the living parable of this teaching, for the father and mother are called to serve without ceasing—feeding, teaching, protecting, and guiding. Their selfless truths are not mere words, but deeds: the meal prepared though weary, the counsel given though unthanked, the hand extended though unnoticed. In each act of parental devotion, the divine pattern of Christlike love is etched into daily life.

Yet, this path is not without cost. To place the needs of children before one’s own is to lay aside dreams, delay ambitions, and endure hardship. But this very cost is what elevates the soul. For in sacrifice, the heart is refined; in surrender, the spirit is enlarged. The parent who lives thus becomes more than caretaker—they become an example of living virtue, a testimony that love can overcome selfishness, and that service is the true measure of greatness.

The lesson, then, is clear: embrace the calling of parenthood not as a burden, but as the highest honor. Recognize that every sacrifice for your children is a stone laid in the foundation of their lives. Every act of selflessness weaves into your own character a deeper nobility, a reflection of the divine. To live for your children is to live for the future, and to shape their lives is to shape eternity itself.

Practical action stands before us. If you are a parent, remember daily to place the long-term good of your children above fleeting desires. Show patience where anger tempts, give time where convenience beckons, and listen where silence seems easier. If you are a child, honor the unseen sacrifices of your parents, recognizing the nobility they have forged through their love. And if you are not yet a parent, practice now the virtues of service and selflessness, for these are the seeds of greatness in every walk of life.

Thus, Faust’s words endure as a timeless truth: that fatherhood and motherhood are paths not of ease, but of transformation. In yielding personal desire, parents rise to divine heights. In serving their children, they serve the Savior’s call. And in every quiet sacrifice, they craft not only the lives of their sons and daughters, but the destiny of generations yet unborn.