To understand somebody else as a human being, I think, is about

Host: The room was quiet, filled only with the soft hum of the fan and the distant murmur of voices from outside. The light from the window was warm, casting long shadows across the floor. Jack sat on the couch, his hands folded in his lap, his thoughts distant. Jeeny was beside him, a book resting on her knees, but her attention was entirely on him, as if she knew there was something unspoken between them, something that needed to be said.

Jeeny: (gently, breaking the silence) “David Small once said, ‘To understand somebody else as a human being, I think, is about as close to real forgiveness as one can get.’”

(She looked at him, her voice soft but earnest.) “Do you think that’s true? That understanding someone is the key to forgiveness?”

Jack: (pausing, his voice slow as he processed the thought) “It makes sense. You can’t really forgive someone unless you see them for who they are, right? All the flaws, the mistakes... and the reasons behind them.”

Jeeny: (nodding, her gaze steady) “Exactly. I think a lot of the time, we think forgiveness is about letting go of the anger, or offering a free pass for what someone did. But it’s more about seeing them as a whole person — not just as the one who hurt you, but as someone who, like you, has their own struggles, their own history.”

Jack: (his voice quieter now, almost reflective) “It’s hard to do that. When you’ve been hurt, all you see is the wound. You don’t want to see the person behind it. It feels like if you do, you’re letting them off the hook.”

Jeeny: (softly, her words full of empathy) “But that’s the thing. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing the hurt. It’s about realizing that the hurt is just a part of the bigger picture of who they are. It’s understanding that their pain, their actions — they don’t define them completely. Just like your mistakes don’t define you.”

Jack: (leaning back, his eyes on the floor) “I get that. But it’s still hard to let go of the hurt. It feels like if I understand them too much, then I’m accepting the pain they caused.”

Jeeny: (her voice gentle, but firm) “It’s not about accepting the pain, Jack. It’s about understanding that people act from their own pain, from their own experiences. When you see someone fully — not just their actions but their reasons, their struggles — that’s when you can start to forgive. Not because they don’t deserve consequences, but because you see the person behind it. You see the whole story.”

Host: The light from the window shifted slightly, casting a more golden hue over the room, as if the conversation itself was illuminating something hidden in the quiet. The air felt thick with the weight of understanding, like a pause that lingered longer than expected. Jack let out a breath, his shoulders easing as the thought began to settle.

Jack: (after a long pause, his voice low) “So, forgiveness isn’t about forgetting what happened. It’s about understanding why it happened.”

Jeeny: (nodding softly, her voice calm) “Exactly. It’s not a free pass. It’s a deeper understanding, one that lets you release the anger, the hurt, and move forward without it controlling you.”

Jack: (sighing, a small smile forming as he looked at her) “You make it sound so much simpler than it feels.”

Jeeny: (with a gentle laugh) “I know. But maybe that’s the point — forgiveness isn’t simple, but it is liberating. It’s not about erasing the past; it’s about embracing the whole person — yourself included — and knowing that understanding is the first step toward healing.”

Host: The sound of a car passing by outside caught their attention for a moment, the rhythm of the world continuing as their conversation hung between them like a shared breath. Jack sat back, the weight of the conversation leaving a sense of quiet calm in its wake. He could feel something shifting inside, a small opening where understanding could grow.

Jack: (quietly, more to himself than to her) “Maybe that’s what I’ve been missing. The understanding. That if I can see someone as human, as just another person, flawed and struggling like me, then maybe it’s easier to let go of the anger.”

Jeeny: (smiling softly, her voice full of warmth) “Exactly. Because we’re all just doing the best we can. And sometimes, we hurt others in the process. But when we see that, we see ourselves in them too.”

Host: The room fell into a gentle stillness, the words from their conversation lingering in the air like a quiet truth. Outside, the world continued on its way, but inside, something had shifted — a deeper understanding, a willingness to let go of past wounds and begin to heal. Jack looked at Jeeny, his expression softer now, the weight of old hurts beginning to lift.

Jack: (with a quiet smile) “I think I understand now. To truly forgive, I need to understand the person who hurt me. To see them as human, with their own flaws, and not just as the one who wronged me.”

Jeeny: (smiling back, her voice full of quiet pride) “Exactly. And when you can do that, you’re not just forgiving them. You’re freeing yourself too.”

Host: The light outside had dimmed, the evening settling into night, but inside, the sense of peace lingered. The understanding between them, the quiet realization that forgiveness was not just about the person you forgive, but about your own healing, filled the room. Jack sat back, his mind clearer now, knowing that to truly heal, to truly forgive, meant seeing people for who they really were — not just by their mistakes, but by their humanity.

And in that realization, there was freedom.