We learn much of parenting from our own parents. My love for my

The words of James E. Faust—“We learn much of parenting from our own parents. My love for my father deepened profoundly when he was kind, patient, and understanding.”—resound with the wisdom of generations. They remind us that the art of raising children is not invented anew with each family, but is handed down like an unbroken chain from parent to child, from elder to youth, across the span of time. Our fathers and mothers become our first teachers, not only through their words but through the silent example of how they carry their burdens, how they wield their tempers, and how they open their hearts.

The ancients spoke often of this inheritance of virtue. In the house of the Greeks, it was said that children watched the conduct of their parents more closely than they listened to their commands. The Romans taught that pietas—the sacred devotion to family and duty—was learned first at the hearth, in the daily gestures of love or neglect. Faust’s reflection reveals the same truth: it was not his father’s authority that deepened his love, but his kindness, his patience, and his understanding. These qualities, far more than severity or power, are what lodge themselves in the memory of a child’s heart and guide them when they themselves become parents.

History itself offers a vivid mirror. Consider Marcus Aurelius, emperor and philosopher, who in his Meditations recorded the lessons learned from his adoptive father, Antoninus Pius. He praised him not for wealth or might, but for his gentleness, his even temper, his care for justice, and his restraint. These examples became the foundation of Marcus’s rule and his philosophy. Just as Faust’s father shaped him through compassion, so Antoninus shaped the emperor of Rome through the quiet strength of character. Thus, history shows us that the virtues of the parent are not lost, but live on in the lives of children who carry them forward.

There is in this truth both hope and warning. For if children learn love from patience, they may also learn hardness from cruelty, fear from anger, and distance from neglect. Parenting is not neutral: it is a living flame, passing warmth or coldness, light or shadow, from one generation to the next. This is why Faust’s love deepened when his father showed gentleness—for in those moments he received not only affection but an inheritance of how he, too, should one day treat others. The soul of a child, soft and impressionable, remembers more than the parent knows.

The meaning of Faust’s words, then, is clear: to be a parent is to become the living model of what your children will one day mirror. This is a sacred responsibility. Authority alone cannot win the heart of a child, but kindness can. Power cannot inspire devotion, but patience can. Fear may command obedience, but only understanding builds love. And love is the true bond that endures, the bond that survives the storms of adolescence, the passage of years, and even the grave.

The lesson for us is this: live the virtues you wish to see in your children. If you wish for them to be gentle, show them gentleness. If you wish for them to be steadfast, show them endurance. If you wish for them to love, show them your love not only in grand gestures but in the quiet strength of daily patience. For children learn not by hearing alone, but by witnessing, by absorbing the spirit of their parents like soil absorbs the rain.

Therefore, let your actions be these: examine your conduct daily, not only before the world but within your home. Speak with patience, even when weary. Show kindness, even when hurried. Practice understanding, even when you are tempted to judge. In so doing, you are not only shaping your relationship with your children now but preparing them to pass the same gifts to the generations yet unborn.

Thus, James E. Faust’s words endure as a torch of wisdom: parenting is a sacred inheritance, carried forward through the living example of love. What we give our children, they will give to theirs. What we fail to give, they will feel as an absence. But when we offer kindness, patience, and understanding, we create a chain of love that stretches beyond our own lives, echoing into eternity.