What we used to say was whoever had the bow tie got to lead the

In the gentle humor and quiet wisdom of Pete Fountain, the legendary jazz clarinetist, there lies a teaching that goes far beyond music. When he said, “What we used to say was whoever had the bow tie got to lead the band. There was never any jealousy,” he was speaking not only of musicianship, but of humility, harmony, and the sacred art of cooperation. Beneath the lightness of his words lives a truth as old as any human endeavor: that greatness is not born of rivalry, but of respect. To play in unison requires not only skill, but the grace to let another lead when the moment calls for it.

In the ancient world, such wisdom would have been prized by philosophers and warriors alike. The Greeks taught that even the charioteer must know when to rein in his horses, and when to yield to the pace of another. Discipline without envy was considered the highest virtue. In the same way, Fountain’s band learned that the soul of jazz — like the soul of life — thrives when each voice honors the others. The bow tie was not a crown of superiority, but a symbol of trust, saying: “For this song, you lead, and we will follow.” To play together without jealousy was to enter into something divine — the music of unity.

Pete Fountain came from the heart of New Orleans, where jazz was born in the dance between individuality and togetherness. Every musician brought his own rhythm, his own fire, his own soul. Yet in the midst of that improvisation, there had to be harmony. The moment envy entered, the song broke apart. Fountain understood this instinctively. He knew that music — like friendship, like love, like community — depends on one sacred law: that ego must bow before beauty. Whoever wears the bow tie does not dominate, but serves the music; and those who follow do so not from weakness, but from reverence for the greater whole.

History offers many echoes of this principle. When Leonardo da Vinci worked alongside other masters in Florence, he learned to admire their gifts rather than resent them. From Verrocchio’s workshop emerged not rivals, but disciples who honored one another’s light. So too, in the jazz halls of New Orleans, camaraderie mattered more than competition. The true leader was the one who lifted others’ talents — who turned envy into rhythm and discord into melody. As Fountain said, “there was never any jealousy,” for in that fellowship, joy was the only currency worth having.

To live without jealousy is one of the hardest lessons the human heart can learn. The world teaches us to compare, to covet, to crave control. But Pete Fountain’s wisdom reminds us that when we rejoice in another’s success, we make room for our own spirit to grow. Every person’s moment to lead will come — and when it does, it will shine brighter because we learned first how to follow. The band becomes a metaphor for life itself: each of us holding an instrument, each waiting for our turn to contribute to the great symphony of existence.

Yet this lesson also calls for courage. To hand the bow tie to another is to surrender pride. It is to say, “Your song will guide us today.” In doing so, we learn the deeper strength — the power of trust. Those who can both lead and follow, who can celebrate another’s brilliance without bitterness, are the true masters of the art of living. Fountain’s words may sound playful, but in them lies the discipline of peace: a refusal to let jealousy poison joy.

So let this be passed down as ancient counsel: when you find yourself among others — in work, in friendship, in creation — do not grasp for the bow tie. If it is yours to wear, wear it with grace; if it belongs to another, play your part with excellence and delight. For envy divides, but harmony builds eternity.

Thus spoke Pete Fountain, a man whose music was laughter turned to melody, and whose heart beat in time with humility. From his words we learn that in any band — of musicians, of brothers, of dreamers — the greatest triumph is not in leading the song, but in keeping it alive together, without jealousy, in perfect rhythm with one another’s souls.