
When I was 17, I had my first proper girlfriend, and on
When I was 17, I had my first proper girlfriend, and on Valentine's Day, I painted a canvas of her, bought her a massage, put flowers on the stairs, and ran a bath.






"When I was 17, I had my first proper girlfriend, and on Valentine's Day, I painted a canvas of her, bought her a massage, put flowers on the stairs, and ran a bath." These words, spoken by Tom Cullen, offer a glimpse into the innocence and sincerity of youthful love. Cullen's reflection on his first experience with romantic affection reveals not only the depth of his emotional investment but also his desire to express love in a way that is personal, thoughtful, and meaningful. The actions he took—painting a canvas, buying a massage, placing flowers, and preparing a bath—are all symbols of the ways in which love can be expressed through care, creativity, and intention. This is love in its purest form, before the weight of expectation and routine can overshadow the heartfelt gestures that make a relationship truly special.
In the ancient world, the act of expressing love was often celebrated through gestures that were rich with symbolism and intention. The Greeks, for example, understood that love required both passion and thoughtfulness. Eros, the god of love, was not only associated with the wild, fiery passions of lovers, but also with the deep, meaningful connections that were fostered through acts of kindness and understanding. Socrates, the great philosopher, emphasized the importance of emotional connection in relationships. He believed that true love was based on shared wisdom and mutual respect, but he also understood that romantic love often flourished through small acts of service and caring gestures.
Similarly, the Romans celebrated love and affection with grand gestures, but also understood the importance of smaller, more intimate actions. Julius Caesar, while often remembered for his military conquests, showed great affection for his wife, Calpurnia, not through public displays of power, but through quiet, thoughtful gestures. The stories of Roman feasts and rituals of devotion tell us that true love is not just about the grand gestures, but about the daily acts of care and commitment. In Cullen’s reflection, we see the same understanding of love: a desire to nourish the relationship with personal, meaningful acts that go beyond the surface.
What makes Cullen’s gesture particularly powerful is its authenticity. In his youth, he did not rely on expensive gifts or flashy demonstrations of affection, but instead, he used his own creativity and effort to express his love. The painting, an intimate and personal gift, represented not just his feelings, but the time and thought he had invested in his relationship. Flowers on the stairs and a bath ran deeper than simple decoration—they were tangible representations of care, a way of showing love through actions that brought comfort and attention. This is a lesson that transcends time: love is not about the grandiose, but about the personal effort, the quiet moments that show your partner you care. Cullen’s actions embody this timeless truth.
The lesson to take from Cullen’s words is profound. It is easy to get lost in the commercialization of love, especially on days like Valentine’s Day, where the pressure to perform or impress can overshadow the true meaning of affection. Cullen’s approach reminds us that love is not about spending money or impressing others, but about expressing care in ways that are thoughtful, personal, and meaningful. Love is built in these moments of intentional nurturing, where the small, seemingly insignificant gestures carry the greatest weight. Whether it is creating something by hand, planning a special surprise, or simply making time for the person you care about, these actions are the foundation of true, lasting love.
In your own life, embrace the opportunity to show love not just through expensive gifts or grand gestures, but through the simple, meaningful acts that speak from the heart. Paint your own canvas of affection, whether it’s through writing a letter, preparing a meal, or offering your time and attention. Let Valentine’s Day be a reminder that love is not a commodity to be bought, but a connection to be nurtured with care and authenticity. Whether you are in a relationship or not, take this wisdom into your life and approach those you care about with thoughtfulness, creativity, and dedication. In doing so, you will create relationships that are not bound by expectation, but by a shared commitment to caring for one another every day of the year.
Just as Cullen found his way to express his love through creative gestures, so too can we all find our own unique ways to celebrate the people we love. True affection lies not in the size of the gesture, but in the depth of intention behind it. In this, we find the true power of love—in the care, the effort, and the meaning we bring into each act. Through these moments, we discover that love, in its truest form, is a constant expression of thoughtfulness, creativity, and devotion.
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