You can't have it all, all at once. Who - man or woman - has it

Hear now the words of Ruth Bader Ginsburg, a voice of justice and endurance: “You can't have it all, all at once. Who—man or woman—has it all, all at once? Over my lifespan, I think I have had it all. But in different periods of time, things were rough. And if you have a caring life partner, you help the other person when that person needs it.” In these words is the wisdom of patience, the rhythm of seasons, and the eternal truth that life unfolds in phases. No soul may grasp the fullness of existence in a single moment, for the journey is long, and the blessings of life are scattered across time like stars that rise at different hours of the night.

The meaning is clear: the pursuit of balance is not found in demanding everything at once, but in allowing each portion of life to ripen in its due season. There is a time for ambition, a time for family, a time for labor, and a time for rest. To demand that all these spheres shine equally at once is to demand the impossible, for even the sun and the moon do not share the sky together. Patience, then, is the key that unlocks the fullness of destiny.

Ginsburg speaks not from theory, but from her own life. She bore the weight of great struggles—caring for her ill husband while raising children and pursuing the stern path of law and justice. There were times when one sphere of her life demanded sacrifice of another. Yet across the breadth of her days, she came to see that she had indeed “had it all,” not in one breath, but across a lifetime. Her testimony reminds us that fulfillment is not a single banquet served at once, but a feast spread across the years.

History, too, echoes this lesson. Consider the life of Nelson Mandela, who spent decades in prison, robbed of freedom and family. For years, he had only struggle and sacrifice. Yet in time, he walked free and was given the honor of leading a nation into rebirth. He did not “have it all” in one moment, but across his lifetime, his suffering bore fruit. His early years of pain and separation gave way to later years of triumph and unity. The arc of life is long, and only those who endure it with patience can see its full beauty.

The quote also reminds us of the sacred role of partnership. Ginsburg speaks of the strength that comes when a life partner shares the burdens and lifts the weary in times of trial. No one climbs every mountain alone. In her marriage to Martin Ginsburg, she found not only love but also the strength of mutual support. This partnership, where one leans upon the other in weakness, is a model for all relationships—whether of love, friendship, or community.

The teaching is thus: do not measure your life in moments of having or lacking. Instead, see your years as a river. At some bends, the waters are turbulent; at others, they flow gently and abundantly. Trust the current, for in its fullness, the river carries you to all shores in time. Fulfillment comes not by clutching at everything at once, but by walking steadily and faithfully through the changing seasons of life.

The lesson for you, seeker, is this: release the illusion of “having it all now.” Accept that sacrifice is sometimes required, that struggles will come, and that some blessings only arrive after long waiting. Nurture your relationships, for in times of weakness, you will need the hand of another, and in times of strength, you will be called to lift them. This is the way of shared destiny.

So remember, children of tomorrow: life is not a single harvest but many fields, ripening in their time. Walk with patience, honor the seasons, and cherish those who walk beside you. Then, when you look back across the span of your years, you too may say with truth: “I have had it all.”