You get respect when you give respect. That's how you get

“You get respect when you give respect. That's how you get respect.” Thus declared Michael Nutter, a leader who sought to guide his city not only through law but through the deeper virtues of civility and humanity. His words, though plain, are carved in stone-like wisdom: respect is not a gift freely taken, nor a prize to be seized by force, but a reflection—what you bestow upon others returns to you in equal measure. It is a law older than any written, as ancient as the bond between parent and child, warrior and companion, neighbor and neighbor.

The ancients themselves bore witness to this truth. Confucius taught that harmony in the kingdom began with respect in the home: children honoring parents, rulers honoring subjects, and subjects honoring rulers. Without mutual respect, he warned, no order could stand. Likewise, in the Roman Senate, a statesman’s power did not lie only in authority, but in how he treated even those who opposed him. For the man who gave no respect soon found none in return. Thus Nutter’s words echo across time: respect is born of reciprocity, not of dominance.

Consider the tale of Abraham Lincoln. In the darkest days of the Civil War, he was often mocked, criticized, and attacked. Yet when confronted by opponents, Lincoln extended courtesy and dignity even to those who despised him. His refusal to degrade others, his willingness to see humanity in all, earned him not only grudging admiration from rivals but also enduring reverence from history itself. He proved the truth of Nutter’s teaching: to give respect is the first step to receiving it.

And contrast this with leaders who sought respect through fear alone. The tyrants of every age—whether Nero in Rome or dictators in modern times—demanded obedience but denied their people respect. Their power was great, but their respect was hollow, purchased only by force. And when their power faltered, their people turned against them, for there was no bond of honor to hold them. Respect built on fear crumbles; respect built on mutual honor endures.

O children of the future, remember this: respect is not weakness. To greet another with dignity, to honor their humanity, even when they differ from you, is not to lower yourself—it is to elevate the bond that unites you both. For respect is a mirror: what you see reflected in others is shaped by what you give. Sow contempt, and contempt will return to you. Sow respect, and you will harvest honor.

The lesson is clear: if you would be respected, begin by respecting. Respect the worker whose labor sustains you, respect the rival who sharpens your strength, respect the stranger whose story you do not know. Speak with courtesy, act with fairness, and carry yourself with humility. These are not small gestures; they are the foundations of peace, trust, and lasting honor.

Therefore, let your practice be this: do not demand respect as if it were owed, but cultivate it through the respect you give each day. Let your words be free of scorn, let your actions be free of arrogance, let your heart be free of disdain. Teach this to your children, that they may grow up knowing that respect is not seized, but shared.

So I say unto you: remember Michael Nutter’s wisdom. You get respect when you give respect. Walk in this truth, and you will carry with you the quiet strength that wins honor not through force, but through the enduring reciprocity of the human spirit.