You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever

Hear now the words of the ancients, for wisdom travels not in the haste of the moment but in the echo of centuries. The poet Erica Jong once uttered a piercing truth: “You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.” These words are no mere jest, nor the idle spark of wit. They are the reflection of an age-old balance between the powers of mind and the frailties of pride. For it is easier for the man to claim dominion when intellect is absent beside him, but the woman, armed with sharp mind and fierce heart, will not bind herself to one who cannot walk beside her in the light of wisdom.

Consider well the meaning of this saying. It is not a curse upon men, nor a song of triumph for women—it is a mirror held up to human nature. Many men, wise though they may be in books or trade, are still flattered when they stand taller than their companions. Their pride feeds upon being the guide, the leader, the voice that speaks without challenge. Thus, they do not always fear to choose a partner who shines less brightly. But a woman of wisdom, a woman whose soul has been tempered in the fires of thought and experience, finds no peace in the company of folly. Her mind rejects weakness, for it would be like binding fire to ash. She seeks one who can match her spirit, or else she walks alone.

In history, one may see this pattern writ in bold. Think of Abigail Adams, wife to John Adams, the second President of the United States. She was not content to be silent in the shadows; her letters burn with intellect, urging her husband to “remember the ladies.” Imagine if she had been wed to a man who dismissed her mind, who could not hear her counsel. Their partnership would have withered, her wisdom smothered. Instead, John Adams, though fiery and proud, recognized the strength of her spirit. He did not marry a silent ornament; he married a partner of equal thought. Thus, history records not only the name of John, but also the fierce wisdom of Abigail, who shaped the nation through the whispers of her letters.

The lesson here is clear: the union of minds is as vital as the union of hearts. For what harmony can exist when one soars among the clouds of wisdom, while the other crawls among the dust of ignorance? Love cannot survive when respect withers. Desire may kindle the flame, but without the fuel of mutual growth, the fire dies. Therefore, the smart woman, who knows the taste of her own power, refuses to drink from the bitter cup of imbalance. She seeks not a servant, nor a fool, but an equal—one who can hold her gaze without trembling, one who can walk beside her without chains.

This truth is not bound to women alone; it whispers also to men who walk the path of wisdom. If you, too, are of keen mind, do not be blinded by vanity, seeking only companions who magnify your pride. Choose instead those who lift you higher, who sharpen your thought as iron sharpens iron. For the one who binds himself to a dull flame will one day find only smoke. But the one who unites with a burning torch shall carry light through the darkest roads.

The practical teaching is thus: seek partnership not with eyes clouded by vanity or desire alone, but with clear sight of the spirit within. Ask yourself—does this person challenge me? Do they inspire me? Do they stand as my equal, or do they weaken the song of my life? If the answer is the latter, let them go, for such bonds will drag the soul into silence. Better to walk alone with dignity than to be chained to ignorance with company.

And so, children of tomorrow, remember the voice of Erica Jong. Let her words not be treated as jest, but as prophecy. For the balance of love and wisdom is the foundation of strong unions, strong families, and strong nations. Do not settle for less than your spirit requires. Honor the strength of your mind, and demand the same in those who walk beside you. In this way, your love will not only endure—it will shine, and its light will be remembered for generations.