As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink

The words of Molly Ivins — “As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can’t drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against ’em anyway, you don’t belong in office.” — are born of satire, yet they blaze with a deeper truth about politics. With her sharp wit, Ivins unmasks the hypocrisy, indulgence, and ruthless pragmatism of those who wield power. In this jesting maxim, we glimpse the ancient reality: that politics is not merely about ideals, but about surviving in the midst of temptation and corruption.

To drink their whiskey and screw their women is to partake in the vices and pleasures of those in power. To take their money is to benefit from their wealth and favor. Yet the punchline, the cutting edge of Ivins’s wisdom, lies in the command to vote against them anyway. For the true statesman must not be enslaved by gifts, pleasures, or bribes. To hold power with integrity is to resist the golden chains of gratitude and to stand, even against benefactors, in service to truth and the people.

The ancients knew well this paradox of politics. Consider Cato the Younger, who lived in the Roman Senate among men steeped in decadence and bribery. He dined with them, endured their company, but when the time came, he stood unbending against Caesar’s tyranny. He had shared their wine, but he would not betray his conscience. Like Ivins’s legislators, the Romans expected loyalty in exchange for indulgence — yet the true measure of honor was to refuse such corruption, even at the cost of friendship or safety.

Ivins’s words reveal that the political arena is not a temple of purity, but a battlefield of compromise, temptation, and betrayal. Yet within this battlefield, character is tested. The one who can walk among wolves, share their feasts, yet still keep his sword sharp against their treachery — this is the leader who truly belongs in office. For politics demands not the avoidance of corruption, but the strength to resist it even when it presses close.

Let the generations remember: virtue in public life is not proven by isolation, but by integrity in the midst of corruption. To feast with the powerful and still remain free, to accept their favors yet refuse their commands, is the highest form of political courage. Molly Ivins, in her biting humor, reveals an ancient wisdom: that the true servant of the people is not bought, not seduced, not bound — but stands firm, even when surrounded by indulgence and gold.