How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world

Hear the fiery wisdom of Anaïs Nin, who declared: “How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.” In this proclamation is the sound of awakening, a call for women to rise not as dependents upon the dreams of others, but as the architects of their own destinies. For too long, the burden of creation has been placed upon men, while women have been told to wait, to hope, to follow. Nin tears apart this illusion, saying that the power to shape the world one desires must be claimed, not begged for.

The meaning of this saying lies in its rebuke of passivity. To expect another to build the world you want is to give away your sovereignty, to entrust the shaping of your future to hands that are not your own. Such expectation, even in love, is a chain that diminishes both giver and receiver. True liberation comes when one seizes the tools of creation—whether through art, labor, invention, or courage—and shapes reality according to one’s vision. In this way, the woman ceases to be merely the companion of history and becomes its maker.

History offers luminous examples of this truth. Consider the life of Emmeline Pankhurst, the suffragette who did not wait for men in Parliament to grant her the world she wanted. She rose, she fought, she organized, she endured prison and scorn, until women’s voices rang through the ballot box. If she had waited for men to build her world, the chains of silence would have remained. Instead, she created it herself, and her creation was a new horizon of freedom for countless generations. Nin’s words are embodied in Pankhurst’s struggle: do not wait—create.

The origin of Anaïs Nin’s insight is found in her own life. As a writer, diarist, and seeker of truth, she lived in defiance of the roles her society prescribed. She built her voice not upon the approval of men, nor upon the structures already given, but upon her own vision. Her words reflect the rebellion of an artist who refused to be confined. To her, dependence upon another—whether in love or ambition—was a denial of one’s own divine power to create. Her quote is less admonition and more liberation: a reminder that creation belongs to each soul.

Yet let us not mistake this teaching as a rejection of love or partnership. Nin does not say that men and women cannot build together. She says it is wrong for a woman to surrender her dream entirely to another, to expect fulfillment as a gift rather than as a conquest of her own spirit. For shared worlds must be built by equal hands. A love where one builds and the other only expects is not love, but imbalance. True companionship lies in both creators standing side by side, each bringing forth their vision, weaving them together into a tapestry of shared destiny.

The lesson is clear: do not wait for another to give you the life you desire. Whether man or woman, you must take up the tools of creation. Write the book, plant the seed, pursue the craft, speak the truth. Do not wait for someone else’s hand to lift you—lift yourself, and in rising, you will inspire others to rise as well. Expectation without action breeds resentment, but action rooted in vision breeds freedom.

So I say unto you: let Anaïs Nin’s words be carved into the stone of your memory. Do not expect—create. Do not wait—build. For you are not a passenger in the ship of life, but its captain. Every dream you hold is a command upon your own hands, not upon the hands of another. And when you rise to create the world you long for, you will find not only freedom, but joy—for there is no greater triumph than to live within a world you yourself have dared to shape.