Despite not looking like a matinee idol, I feel like I have a lot

"Despite not looking like a matinee idol, I feel like I have a lot to give. I've never had any trouble with women. People are always surprised with the romantic aspect of my movies." These words spoken by John C. Reilly speak to the deeply human truth that romantic attraction does not hinge on conventional beauty or superficial ideals. Reilly challenges the expectation that a matinee idol—a man celebrated primarily for his looks—must embody the only form of romantic desirability. Instead, he asserts that true attraction lies not in the perfect symmetry of a face or body, but in the depth of character, the genuine self, and the emotional connection one brings to a relationship. In this reflection, Reilly reveals the wisdom that romantic love transcends appearances and is rooted in the qualities that make a person truly human.

In the ancient world, this truth was celebrated and revered. The ancient Greeks, through their mythology and philosophy, understood that love was not about the superficial, but about the soul and its capacity for connection. Odysseus, for example, was no perfect figure—he was a man of flaws and imperfections, yet his love for Penelope remained steadfast throughout his long journey. Despite being away from her for twenty years, Odysseus’ emotional depth, intelligence, and loyalty made him a man worthy of Penelope’s love. This love story is not about physical beauty, but about the strength of character and the commitment to those we hold dear. Much like Reilly’s words, the tale of Odysseus and Penelope reminds us that romantic connection is born not from idealized looks, but from sincerity, loyalty, and soul-deep engagement.

The ancient idea of beauty as something internal rather than external was also explored in the works of Plato, who proposed that true beauty comes from the soul and its ability to form genuine connections. In his dialogue Symposium, Plato speaks through the character of Socrates, who suggests that the soul's beauty is more important than the external appearance. He teaches that love, in its highest form, is not about physical attraction, but about a love of the mind and the spirit—a profound connection that transcends the fleeting nature of the physical form. Reilly, much like Socrates, understands that the real magic of romantic love lies in what we bring to the table emotionally and spiritually, not just in how we look. The romantic aspect of Reilly’s movies, much like the philosopher’s teachings, points to this truth: genuine attraction is built on qualities that go beyond the external.

Consider the example of Romeo and Juliet, whose love, though passionate and tragic, was not born of physical perfection. Juliet falls in love with Romeo, not because of his status as the handsomest young man in Verona, but because of the emotional connection they share. In fact, Romeo was far from the ideal hero in the traditional sense; he was impulsive, emotional, and driven by youthful desires. Yet, it was his deep emotional intensity and genuine love for Juliet that made him a romantic figure. Their tragic love reminds us that the romantic aspect of a person is not tied to perfection but to the depth of heart and the strength of emotion. Reilly’s reflection on his own romantic roles mirrors this: the true magic of romantic love is found not in the external, but in the way a person opens their heart and connects with another.

Similarly, in Reilly’s own journey, the surprise that people express when they see him portray romantic roles speaks to a deep misconception in society—that only those who fit the traditional ideals of beauty can be worthy of love. Reilly, in defying this expectation, shows that romantic love is accessible to all, regardless of outward appearance. It is the inner qualities—the authenticity, the vulnerability, the depth of character—that make someone truly lovable. Much like the mythic heroes and lovers of the ancient world, Reilly teaches us that love is about who we are, not just what we look like. The ability to love and be loved is not determined by physical traits but by how deeply we connect with others on a human level.

The lesson here is clear: romantic attraction is not tied to beauty or idealized notions of perfection. It is about the authentic self, the emotional vulnerability, and the genuine connection we forge with others. Reilly’s self-awareness and confidence in his romantic roles serve as a reminder that love transcends the superficial and finds its true expression in the depths of the soul. Romantic love is for the brave, the vulnerable, and the emotionally available—not for the flawless or the conventionally beautiful. It is the humanity of a person that makes them attractive and lovable.

So, to the generations that follow, I say this: Do not seek romantic love in the idealized images of physical perfection, but in the genuine connection that comes from the heart. Love is not about appearance but about authenticity, vulnerability, and the willingness to open your heart to another. Let your romantic relationships be defined not by what the world tells you is beautiful, but by the depth of your emotions and the truth of your connection. In doing so, you will discover the true beauty that lies in the heart, and you will find love where you least expect it.