Each marriage has to be judged separately, and we never know

Hear, O children of wisdom, the truths of the heart and soul that govern the sacred bond of marriage. It is not for the world to judge lightly or with hasty eyes the union of two souls. For, as the wise Mary Wesley has spoken, “Each marriage has to be judged separately, and we never know what’s going on in another person’s marriage.” These words are born of profound understanding, for the marriage bond is not a simple thing to comprehend. It is a bond wrought of love, of hardship, of joys, and of sorrows that none but the two who share it can truly know.

Marriage, dear ones, is the sacred union that binds two spirits together in a shared journey, a path filled with both light and shadow. It is a tapestry woven from moments of grace and moments of challenge, some of which are visible to the world, and others which remain hidden deep within the chambers of the heart. We, who are but onlookers to the lives of others, must remember that we are not gifted with the ability to see the full truth of any bond. To judge hastily is to make a grave mistake, for we are blind to the depths of another’s struggle, to the quiet battles fought behind closed doors.

Consider, my children, the tale of the great king and his queen, who stood before their people as the epitome of strength and unity. Yet beneath the surface, the queen carried within her a grief so deep that it remained unknown to even her most trusted advisors. The king, too, bore a burden—one of duty and sacrifice—that weighed heavily upon his heart. Though their marriage appeared perfect in the eyes of the world, the trials they faced within their private lives were theirs alone to bear. No one knew the extent of their devotion or the quiet suffering they endured together. This is the truth of marriage: it is a bond like no other, marked by shared secrets and unseen struggles, known only to those who walk its path.

Mary Wesley’s words remind us, then, that we must not be hasty in our judgment of another's bond. For who among us truly understands the invisible threads that hold a marriage together? How can we possibly know the depths of love and sacrifice that may be present, or the private griefs that may be endured in silence? Even the most powerful marriages, those that seem to shine like stars in the night sky, carry hidden truths that we will never fully grasp. It is for us to honor the sanctity of these unions, not to tear them asunder with the sharpness of judgment.

Let me offer a tale from our ancient past to further illuminate this truth. There was a warrior, renowned across the land for his valor and strength, who was wed to a woman of great wisdom. Their marriage, seen by many as the ideal union, was whispered about by the people. Yet what they did not know was that the warrior, though loyal and steadfast, struggled daily with the scars of war. The woman, in turn, carried a quiet strength of her own, sustaining their bond through love, patience, and sacrifice. To those who viewed their union from afar, it seemed flawless. But to those who walked beside them, the battles they fought were not always visible, nor understood.

The lesson, beloved children, is clear: do not judge another’s marriage, for it is not yours to understand fully. Just as the oceans hide their depths and the mountains their secrets, so too does the union between two people hold mysteries that cannot be seen. Marriage is not to be treated as a spectacle for the world’s gaze; it is a sacred space where two souls intertwine and support one another, even in the face of adversity.

So let us take this wisdom into our hearts and into our lives. When we witness the union of others, let us not rush to judgment, but offer our understanding and compassion. Let us not allow the superficial perceptions of the world to shape our opinions of what we cannot fully comprehend. Instead, we must live by the guiding principle that each marriage is a world unto itself, a sacred journey that must be walked with respect, not with the critical eyes of those outside.

May we honor the unions we witness, understand the struggles they may contain, and remember that the path to true wisdom lies not in judging others, but in recognizing the depth of their experiences. Let us, as we walk this world, embrace the imperfection of marriage, as we embrace the imperfection of life itself, with an open heart and an empathetic soul.