I love being married. It's so great to find that one special

The words “I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life” were spoken by Rita Rudner, a woman whose wit has long been her wisdom. Though she cloaks her truth in humor, the heart of this quote is not jest but joy — the laughter that comes from love’s endurance, the sacred bond that turns even irritation into intimacy. Her words remind us that marriage is not the perfection of romance but the companionship of imperfection; not the absence of conflict, but the presence of affection through it.

In the speech of the ancients, this truth would have been sung not as comedy, but as poetry. For they, too, knew that love is both battle and peace, both frustration and forgiveness. When two souls bind their lives together, they do not walk a smooth road — they walk a winding one, filled with laughter and quarrels, affection and folly. What Rudner names “annoyance,” the old philosophers might have called familiarity — that strange comfort that comes from knowing another so deeply that even their faults become part of one’s own song.

To “annoy for the rest of your life” is, in truth, to be seen completely — to be known not in the first light of infatuation but in the quiet, unglamorous hours of daily life. It is to share one’s space, one’s habits, one’s small imperfections. The unmade bed, the misplaced keys, the way one hums while cooking — these become the rhythm of a shared existence. The poet Kahlil Gibran once said, “Let there be spaces in your togetherness,” yet even he knew that the closeness of love breeds moments of tension. Still, it is within these moments that the truest affection is forged.

Consider the tale of Socrates and Xanthippe, told through centuries with both laughter and admiration. She was fiery and sharp-tongued; he, calm and patient. When asked why he endured her scolding, Socrates replied that living with her taught him patience and strengthened his spirit. Even in her temper, he found wisdom. Their marriage was no peaceful idyll — it was a crucible in which both were refined. So it is with all enduring love: not soft as silk, but strong as iron, hammered by laughter, tears, and time.

Rudner’s humor hides within it the ancient secret of lasting companionship: that true love is not built upon constant harmony, but upon the courage to remain together when harmony falters. To find “that one special person” is not to find perfection, but to find the one with whom imperfection feels safe. It is to discover the soul who makes even your irritation meaningful, because it comes from shared life — from the miracle of being known and loved despite all your mortal flaws.

In truth, her jest speaks of something sacred: that in marriage, the mundane becomes holy. To laugh together after an argument, to roll your eyes and yet hold each other anyway — these are the small sacraments of love. The ancients would have called this philia, the love of companionship, which grows not from desire alone but from loyalty and understanding. When two people live long enough together to irritate one another and still choose kindness, they become not just lovers, but partners of the soul.

The lesson, then, is this: embrace the imperfections of love. Do not seek a union free from annoyance or friction, for such a union does not exist among mortals. Instead, find the one whose presence you can cherish even when it tests your patience. Laugh together often, forgive quickly, and remember that small irritations are the seasoning of intimacy. A love that never quarrels is fragile; a love that quarrels and forgives grows roots deep and enduring.

So, when Rita Rudner says she loves being married, she speaks the language of the ancients in modern jest. For to love another for life is to commit not just to joy, but to endurance, to the sacred comedy of being human together. Cherish the one who annoys you, for they are the one who stands beside you still — through days of thunder and mornings of peace — proving with every shared smile and sigh that love, even when imperfect, is the most perfectly human miracle of all.