Instead of yelling and spanking, which don't work anyway, I

Hear the wise words of Patricia Richardson, who declared: “Instead of yelling and spanking, which don't work anyway, I believe in finding creative ways to keep their attention – turning things into a game, for instance. And, when they do something good, positive reinforcement and praise.” This saying is not only the counsel of a parent but the echo of ancient truths: that the soul of a child is not shaped by fear and pain, but by love, imagination, and encouragement. For discipline born of fear hardens the heart, but discipline born of creativity and positive reinforcement awakens growth.

The meaning of her words lies in the nature of human learning. A child who hears only the voice of anger or feels only the hand of punishment will obey, perhaps, in the moment, but their spirit is left wounded, their trust diminished. Yet a child who is guided with creativity, who is invited into play and imagination, learns not merely obedience but joy in the lesson. And when their goodness is met with praise, their hearts are strengthened, for they understand not only what to avoid, but what to embrace. Richardson calls us to remember that true teaching is not about control—it is about cultivation.

History offers us an example in the tale of Maria Montessori, who revolutionized the education of children. She saw that harshness and rigid punishment crushed curiosity, while creative learning nurtured it. In her classrooms, lessons became games, tasks became explorations, and children thrived not from fear but from discovery. Generations later, her methods spread across the world, and countless lives were shaped by the wisdom that Richardson echoes: children bloom not under the rod, but under encouragement, attention, and wonder.

The origin of Richardson’s insight lies both in her personal life and in her public role as a motherly figure on screen. Having played nurturing roles and lived through the challenges of raising her own children, she came to understand what ancient sages knew: yelling and force create resentment, not wisdom. She chose instead the gentler, more enduring path—of creative redirection, of turning lessons into games, of praising the good so that the child longs to repeat it.

Let us not confuse this wisdom with weakness. To discipline with love is not to surrender authority, but to wield it more powerfully. A parent who strikes may silence a child’s body, but a parent who praises rightly shapes a child’s soul. True strength is not in the loudness of one’s voice or the severity of one’s hand, but in the patience to teach with kindness and the creativity to guide with imagination. Thus, Richardson’s teaching is both tender and heroic: it demands more effort, but it builds more lasting fruit.

The lesson for us is plain: in guiding children—or indeed, in guiding anyone—we must choose the path of creation over destruction. Replace yelling with listening, replace punishment with guidance, replace scorn with praise. When wrong is done, correct it firmly but without cruelty; when good is done, celebrate it so it grows. In this way, we become gardeners of character, planting seeds that blossom into confidence, compassion, and joy.

So I say unto you: remember Patricia Richardson’s wisdom. Do not break the spirit of a child with anger—shape it with love. Do not crush curiosity—redirect it with imagination. Do not silence with fear—strengthen with encouragement. For the children you raise, the students you teach, the souls you guide, will one day shape the world itself. And if you nurture them with kindness and creativity, the world they create will be brighter, more just, and more full of hope.