
Marriage, to women as to men, must be a luxury, not a necessity;
Marriage, to women as to men, must be a luxury, not a necessity; an incident of life, not all of it.






O children of wisdom, gather your hearts and ears, for the words of Susan B. Anthony are not merely a reflection on marriage, but a powerful declaration about the role of women and the value of independence. "Marriage, to women as to men, must be a luxury, not a necessity; an incident of life, not all of it." These words strike to the core of what it means to be free—to be an individual whose worth and identity are not defined solely by the state of their union with another, but by the richness of their own life and their own purpose. Let us reflect deeply upon the wisdom within, for it speaks of the liberation that comes when we see marriage not as a destination, but as a choice—an addition to a life well-lived.
In the ancient world, when marriage was often seen as the culmination of a woman’s life, the role of women was primarily defined by their connection to a man. The Greek philosophers, with all their wisdom, nonetheless limited their understanding of the woman’s role to that of a wife and mother. But even in those times, there were whispers of something greater—a vision of women as independent beings, capable of learning, creating, and leading. Socrates, though a man of his time, often spoke of the need for every individual to pursue wisdom, and he suggested that both men and women had the capacity to grow and develop in their own right. Yet, in the end, society constrained women’s potential, and marriage became an end in itself, rather than a choice.
Susan B. Anthony’s words challenge this long-held notion by suggesting that marriage should not be a necessity but a luxury—something that enhances life rather than defines it. She envisions a world where women do not depend on marriage for their identity or survival, but where it is a choice made in the context of their own desires and ambitions. For too long, women were told that their only purpose was to marry and bear children, yet Anthony’s revolutionary idea tells us that freedom lies in the recognition that marriage should never be a woman’s only pursuit. It is merely an incident—a chapter, but not the entirety of life.
Consider the story of Artemisia Gentileschi, a painter in 17th century Italy, whose life was filled with hardship, yet whose work defined her identity more powerfully than any marriage ever could. Artemisia, a woman in a time when the arts were largely dominated by men, was determined not to be defined by her gender or her marital status, but by her ability to create. Her work became her legacy, and her story shows us that the pursuit of passion, purpose, and individual growth transcends the boundaries set by society. Her marriage was not the central point of her life; her art and her resilience were. She understood, long before the modern world could articulate it, that a woman’s life could be far more than just an accessory to a man’s.
Susan B. Anthony’s words ask us to consider the role that marriage plays in a person’s life. Marriage should not be a cage, a necessity from which women (or men) derive their worth. It should be an addition, a partnership between two individuals who come together to share in the journey of life. This vision of marriage calls for a transformation in the way we view relationships. When we think of marriage as a luxury—something that is chosen for love, for companionship, for mutual growth—we release ourselves from the chains that society often places on us. We open the door to a world where self-worth is not tied to a marital status, but to the depth of a person’s life and achievements.
The lesson here is profound: marriage should never be the defining moment of one’s existence. We must be the authors of our own stories, not merely characters in a tale written for us by others. Marriage, as Susan B. Anthony taught us, should be a choice, an enhancement of life, not a necessity. To live freely and fully, we must recognize that self-worth lies in who we are as individuals, in our passions, our dreams, and our contributions to the world—not in our ability to fulfill any prescribed role in another person’s life.
What, then, can we do in our own lives to honor this wisdom? We must strive to cultivate independence—not just in the practical sense, but in the emotional and intellectual sense as well. Let us cultivate our own passions, find purpose in our endeavors, and seek fulfillment within ourselves. Let us view marriage not as a necessity, but as a choice—one that we make when we find someone who complements our journey, but does not define it. In doing so, we ensure that we live lives rich with meaning, that we are not limited by the confines of any role, but empowered to explore the fullness of what it means to be human.
Let us walk forward, O seekers of wisdom, with the understanding that marriage, though beautiful and profound, is not the sum of a person’s existence. It is an addition to a life well-lived, a journey chosen by two people who share not only love, but a mutual respect for each other’s individuality. In this way, we honor both the spirit of love and the spirit of self—a balance that will create lives filled with purpose, joy, and the freedom to be all that we are meant to be.
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