My observation is that women are merely waiting for their

“My observation is that women are merely waiting for their husbands to assume leadership.” — James Dobson

In these firm and deeply reflective words, James Dobson, the psychologist and founder of Focus on the Family, speaks to a truth as old as the human bond itself — the yearning for leadership within the sacred union of marriage. His statement, though simple in its phrasing, stirs the depths of human nature and relationship. Dobson was not declaring dominance, but reminding men of their ancient responsibility — that to lead is not to command, but to serve, protect, and guide with strength and love. His observation came not from ideology, but from decades of counseling families who had lost their harmony because the natural rhythm of shared purpose had been replaced by confusion, neglect, or fear.

The origin of this quote lies in Dobson’s lifelong study of family life and spiritual order. In his writings and broadcasts, he saw again and again that many homes were not crumbling from hatred or cruelty, but from absence — the absence of direction, of courage, of moral leadership. He observed that many women, burdened with both the emotional and practical responsibilities of home and family, longed for their husbands not to rule over them, but to stand beside them with strength, to carry the weight of life’s decisions with integrity and conviction. Dobson’s statement, therefore, was both a challenge and a lament — a call for men to reclaim not dominance, but purposeful stewardship.

The ancients understood this principle well. In the old Hebrew scriptures, the man was called to be the shepherd of his household — not as a tyrant, but as one who lays down his life for those entrusted to him. Likewise, in Greek philosophy, the household (oikos) was seen as the foundation of society, and the leader of the home bore the sacred duty to cultivate virtue, wisdom, and stability within it. Aristotle taught that the order of the home reflected the order of the state, and that a man who could not govern himself or his household could not hope to lead a community. Dobson, echoing this timeless truth, reminds the modern man — adrift in an age of confusion — that leadership is not a right, but a burden of love.

Consider the story of George Washington, not as general or president, but as husband. In letters to his beloved Martha, he revealed a gentleness and a sense of duty that defined his greatness not only in public life, but in private. He sought her counsel, respected her wisdom, and yet bore the weight of leadership that was his to carry. Their union was not one of rivalry, but of mutual respect — a dance of strength and grace, where leadership flowed not from pride, but from trust. This, perhaps, is what Dobson saw in his observation: that women, strong and capable as they are, still desire a partner who will rise to his calling, who will meet them not with indifference or passivity, but with courage and conviction.

Yet, Dobson’s words also carry warning. For when men abdicate leadership — not only in the home, but in the moral sphere — the balance of relationship begins to fracture. A woman may step into that void out of necessity, but often at the cost of peace and exhaustion. The home becomes a battleground of silent burdens, where love is replaced by duty, and unity by survival. Dobson’s observation, then, is not a condemnation of women’s strength — far from it. It is an acknowledgment of it, and a reminder that such strength was never meant to bear the weight of life alone. Leadership shared in love brings harmony; leadership abandoned in fear breeds unrest.

There is also a profound spiritual dimension to his message. In the great design of creation, leadership was always meant to be sacrificial, not self-serving. The husband’s authority, as described in the old wisdom traditions, mirrors the love of the divine — steadfast, humble, and unwavering in responsibility. To “assume leadership,” as Dobson says, means to take up one’s role with humility and courage, to guide with listening, to protect without pride, and to lead not by dominance, but by devotion. This kind of leadership does not diminish the woman — it honors her, uplifts her, and strengthens the bond between them.

Let this, then, be the lesson drawn from Dobson’s words: that leadership is not a crown to wear, but a cross to bear. To the men who hear this, understand that your strength was not given for yourself, but for those you love. Your wife does not await your control — she awaits your courage. Your children do not crave your authority — they crave your example. Rise, then, not as ruler, but as servant; not as master, but as guardian of peace and truth.

So, O listener, take these words as both rebuke and encouragement. For as James Dobson observed, women are not waiting for power — they are waiting for partnership, guided by leadership that is noble, steady, and selfless. Let your leadership be a light, not a shadow. Lead with humility, act with integrity, and love with unwavering strength. For in doing so, you do not merely fulfill your role — you awaken the divine order written in the hearts of all who seek harmony, courage, and everlasting love.