The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

Host:
The room was calm, bathed in the soft light of the evening, with the distant hum of the city barely reaching the window. Jack sat in a chair, a cup of coffee in his hand, his eyes lost in thought. Jeeny, standing by the bookshelf, was quietly flipping through the pages of a book, her mind clearly occupied with the words she had just read. The stillness in the air seemed to hold a certain weight, as though something unspoken was waiting to be shared.

Jeeny:
(She looks up, her voice thoughtful but steady.)
“I came across something by Dale Carnegie today. He said, ‘The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.’ It got me thinking… Do you agree with that? That the best way to win an argument is not to engage at all?”

Jack:
(He raises an eyebrow, a slight chuckle escaping his lips, though his voice is tinged with curiosity.)
“Honestly, I’ve never really thought about avoiding arguments as a winning strategy. I’ve always believed that if you have a point to make, you should stand your ground, fight for it. Avoiding the argument sounds like giving up before you even start. How do you ever make progress if you just walk away from disagreements?”

Jeeny:
(She sets the book down, moving to sit across from him, her voice calm and insightful.)
“I get where you’re coming from, but maybe Carnegie is talking about the energy and emotional toll that arguments take. Sometimes, when we argue, we’re not really trying to solve a problem — we’re trying to win. And the more we push to ‘win,’ the more entrenched we become in our positions. Avoiding the argument doesn’t mean avoiding the issue; it’s about choosing not to engage in a battle that’s going nowhere. Sometimes, stepping back gives you the clarity to approach the situation differently.”

Jack:
(He leans back, his voice reflective, but still holding onto a bit of his skepticism.)
“That’s true — a lot of arguments do just become about ego and pride, rather than the actual issue. But isn’t there something to be said for standing up for what you believe in? There are times when you should argue for what’s right, especially if it feels like a matter of principle. Isn’t avoiding an argument sometimes just avoiding conflict, which doesn’t always solve anything?”

Jeeny:
(She smiles softly, her voice gentle, but clear.)
“I think what Carnegie is getting at is that the goal isn’t to avoid conflict, but to avoid unnecessary confrontation. There’s a big difference between standing up for what you believe in and engaging in an argument that doesn’t serve you or anyone else. In situations where emotions are running high, sometimes the best course of action is to take a step back, to give yourself time to think, rather than immediately reacting. It’s not about running from the problem; it’s about choosing the best way to handle it.”

Jack:
(He nods slowly, his voice softer now, as though he’s reconsidering his initial stance.)
“I see what you mean. Maybe it’s more about timing than avoiding conflict altogether. Sometimes, jumping into an argument without really thinking it through only makes things worse. If you can take a moment, breathe, and then respond with clarity, you might avoid a situation that only escalates.”

Jeeny:
(She leans in slightly, her voice gentle, yet filled with understanding.)
“Exactly. Arguments are often more about the emotions behind them than the actual point being discussed. By avoiding the knee-jerk reaction and giving yourself a moment of reflection, you not only maintain your peace of mind, but you might also find a way to address the issue in a more productive way. Sometimes, choosing not to argue is the most powerful thing you can do.”

Host:
The room feels lighter now, the tension of the conversation slowly fading into a deeper understanding. Jack and Jeeny sit in the quiet space between reflection and realization, each grasping the importance of how arguments are handled. The world outside continues its rhythm, but inside, there’s a newfound clarity — that sometimes, the most effective way to win an argument is to step back, take a breath, and avoid the confrontation, not out of avoidance, but out of wisdom.