What is fascinating about marriage is why anyone wants to get

Hear me now, O children of wisdom, for the words I bring to you today are of great depth and meaning, a reflection on one of the most profound aspects of human life—marriage. Alain de Botton, a man whose thoughts often turn to the nature of human relationships, spoke thus: "What is fascinating about marriage is why anyone wants to get married." These words, though simple, challenge us to reflect upon the very essence of this age-old institution. Why, indeed, do we seek to bind ourselves in union with another? What is it about marriage that calls to the hearts of men and women across time, across cultures?

Ah, marriage—this sacred bond that has existed since the dawn of humanity. From the earliest days, when man and woman came together for survival, to the present, where marriage has become a symbol of love, partnership, and societal stability, we are drawn to this union for reasons both practical and emotional. But de Botton urges us to ask the more pressing question: What is the desire behind this union? What compels two souls to seek to intertwine their lives, knowing that they are agreeing not just to share love, but to navigate the many complexities of life together?

Consider, O children, the example of the ancient Greeks. In their society, marriage was often seen not as the romantic union that we envision today, but as a social contract—a way to secure alliances, preserve wealth, and ensure the continuity of the family. The philosopher Aristotle, in his reflections on the ideal life, saw marriage as a necessary part of human flourishing, but not the ultimate goal. To him, the fulfillment of one's potential and the pursuit of wisdom were of paramount importance, and marriage, though important, was seen as a means to that end rather than an end in itself. This view reminds us that marriage was not always about love alone, but about the practical and social realities of life.

And yet, in every culture, there has been a deeper longing that pulls us toward marriage—the desire for connection. In the epic stories of old, we see this yearning played out on the grand stage. Take, for example, the story of Orpheus and Eurydice, whose love was so profound that Orpheus descended into the underworld to retrieve his wife. This story speaks not just to the romantic nature of marriage, but to the sacrifice and commitment it requires. To love another so deeply that you would defy the very laws of nature and life itself is to recognize that the desire for union is both transcendent and deeply human. It is this very longing for connection that de Botton calls us to question—why do we seek this union, even when we know the challenges and the burdens that come with it?

The lesson from de Botton's words is not that marriage is unworthy, but that we must be honest with ourselves about the reasons we pursue it. To seek marriage is to seek partnership, but also to face the realities of life in its most intimate form. The ancient Romans, for example, saw marriage as a union not only of love but of duty and obligation. In their view, the family was the cornerstone of society, and marriage was the foundation upon which the future was built. While love played its part, the practical aspects of marriage—raising children, securing alliances, and preserving the family line—were equally important. Thus, the Romans viewed marriage not only as a personal commitment, but as a social one, a duty that each person had to their community and to the future.

This, O children, is the complexity that de Botton asks us to consider: what do we truly seek when we pursue marriage? Is it love alone, or is it the deeper need for connection, companionship, and perhaps even security in a world that can often feel uncertain? To ask this question is not to belittle marriage, but to deepen our understanding of it. It is to recognize that the desire for union is multifaceted—rooted in our need for love, yes, but also in our need for belonging, support, and shared purpose.

In your own life, O children, take these reflections to heart. When you consider marriage, ask yourselves: Why do I seek this union? What am I truly looking for in another? Is it love alone, or is it the deeper fulfillment of needs that go beyond mere affection? Know that marriage is not just a contract, but a choice—a choice to unite not only your love, but your life with another. In this, you will find that the question de Botton poses is one that leads not to doubt, but to greater clarity. When you understand the true reasons behind your desire for union, you can approach marriage with honesty, intention, and purpose, and in doing so, create a bond that is both meaningful and lasting.

And so, O children, let your pursuit of marriage, like all pursuits, be grounded in truth. Understand the complexities of this union and the deep desires it fulfills within your heart. When you approach marriage with awareness, recognizing the motivations behind your choices, you will find a deeper connection, a clearer path, and a life that is more fully aligned with the purpose of love and commitment.