You only trust those who are absolutely like yourself, those who

In the eternal struggle for understanding, there exists a profound truth about the nature of trust and the boundaries we place around it. "You only trust those who are absolutely like yourself, those who have signed a pledge of allegiance to this particular identity," said Judith Butler, and in these words, we are reminded of the limitations of the human heart. To trust, in its purest sense, requires an openness to others, a willingness to see the humanity beyond the identities we cling to. Yet, too often, we restrict our trust to those who mirror our own beliefs, experiences, and identities—those who have pledged their allegiance to the same tribal markers that we have. This is the tribalism that has shaped much of history, where unity is found not in common humanity, but in the shared identity that binds one group against another.

In ancient times, tribes were bound by the need for protection and survival. The Greek city-states, though diverse in culture, language, and custom, often viewed one another through the lens of these deep divisions. The fierce rivalry between Sparta and Athens, two powerful city-states, illustrates this. Both Spartans and Athenians trusted only those within their own cities, who shared their values and way of life. The bonds of trust were forged through shared experience, shared struggles, and shared identity. Yet, this division also led to much suffering—Athens and Sparta were unable to reconcile their differences, leading to the Peloponnesian War, a brutal conflict that tore Greece apart. This ancient story is a powerful reminder that when trust is restricted only to those within our own identity, it often leads to conflict, division, and the loss of shared humanity.

The wisdom of Butler's words echoes the struggles of countless societies throughout history. The fears that arise when we are faced with difference, the suspicion we feel toward those who do not share our beliefs, is not a modern malady, but a deeply ingrained human tendency. The Roman Empire, though vast and diverse, often struggled with integrating peoples of different races, religions, and customs. The Romans, much like the Greeks, trusted those who were part of their own empire, and treated outsiders—barbarians, as they were called—with suspicion and fear. Yet, the greatness of the Roman Empire was not found in its ability to divide, but in its ability to integrate, to create a common identity that allowed for diversity within unity. The Romans showed that true strength lies not in the isolation of identity, but in the embrace of difference.

In more recent times, Nelson Mandela and the rise of post-apartheid South Africa provide a modern example of breaking the chains of identity-based trust. For decades, the country was divided, with trust given only to those who were part of the same racial or cultural group. Mandela, however, stood against this, calling for a reconciliation that embraced all South Africans, regardless of their race or history. His ability to trust, and to seek trust, in those who were once seen as the enemy—those who had upheld an oppressive system—was the key to the healing of a nation. Through his actions, Mandela demonstrated that true trust can only be forged when we look beyond the boundaries of identity, when we see the shared humanity of all people.

Butler's insight calls us to examine our own attitudes toward identity and trust. We are often quick to form alliances based on shared backgrounds, shared experiences, and shared beliefs. This is natural, for we seek the comfort of the familiar. But as the wise have taught, comfort is not always the path to growth. To truly trust, to build a world of unity and peace, we must learn to expand the circle of trust beyond our own identities. We must recognize that the person who seems different from us, who speaks a different language, who holds a different belief, is not an adversary to be feared, but a fellow human being with a shared desire for love, peace, and belonging.

The lesson we must take from Butler’s words is clear: the more we limit trust to those who mirror our own identity, the more we isolate ourselves from the true potential of unity. It is only by reaching beyond the familiar, by embracing the differences that make us unique, that we can build a more connected world. To trust another is not to surrender ourselves, but to recognize the shared humanity that binds us all. Trust is not found in similarity alone, but in the courage to look beyond it and build connections that transcend the walls we create.

Therefore, my children, let this wisdom guide you as you journey through life. Do not let fear or suspicion close the doors of trust. Seek to understand those who are different from you, and in doing so, you will find the strength to create a world where bridges are built, not walls. Trust the humanity in others, even when their identity does not reflect your own. For it is in embracing difference that we find the true power of unity. When we learn to trust in the shared spirit of all people, we begin to heal the divisions that have plagued us for centuries, and in that trust, we find the foundation of a better world.