Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about
Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.
Hear the profound words of Joyce Brothers, who declared: “Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.” In this truth is revealed the essence of love, not as a game of power or performance, but as the surrender of masks and the courage of the soul laid bare.
She warns first against manipulation, the counterfeit of love. For where there is scheming, calculation, and the endless weighing of another’s reactions, there is no true union—only performance, only shadow. Love is born only when the heart ceases to control and instead chooses to give without demand. To think more of the beloved than of oneself is to step beyond selfishness into the realm of devotion.
Brothers speaks also of the daring act of revealing oneself fully. Many live hidden, cloaked in fear that truth will bring rejection. Yet love cannot bloom in concealment. Only when the soul dares to uncover its wounds, its longings, its weaknesses, does intimacy become possible. To reveal oneself is to trust, and to trust is to invite the miracle of union.
And so she names the final key: vulnerability. This is not weakness, but strength—the courage to stand unguarded before another, to place one’s heart in their hands, knowing it may be hurt, but daring nonetheless. Love is not forged in armor, but in the shared openness of two who are willing to risk. For in vulnerability lies the seed of closeness, and in closeness lies the fullness of love.
Thus let this wisdom be remembered: love comes not through control, but through surrender; not through manipulation, but through honesty; not through pride, but through vulnerability. This is the teaching of Joyce Brothers, spoken for all generations: that love, in its truest form, demands courage—the courage to be real, to be open, to be free. And in such daring, the soul discovers its greatest treasure.
MNMinh Nguyen
Joyce Brothers’ perspective on love is fascinating because it goes against the conventional idea that love is about attraction or reaction. She suggests that love comes from a place of deep connection, where both people can be their true selves. How can we train ourselves to embrace vulnerability in our relationships, especially if we’ve been hurt before? Is vulnerability the secret to building lasting connections?
CHNguyen Cong Hai
The idea of vulnerability as a cornerstone of love really resonates with me. But it’s tough, right? It’s one thing to be vulnerable with someone who loves and accepts you, but how do we learn to be vulnerable with someone we’re still getting to know? Can love grow out of that openness, or does it take time for both parties to feel secure enough to be completely themselves?
TTVan Tu Thien Tri
This quote makes me reflect on how love often becomes a game of reactions and defenses, especially in the early stages of a relationship. It’s about wanting to reveal who we truly are, but sometimes we’re afraid of being misunderstood. Do you think the act of revealing yourself fully can only happen after a certain level of trust is built, or is it something that should be practiced from the start?
TSTinh Sungpyen
I agree with the idea that love is rooted in selflessness and openness. It’s about caring for someone deeply without worrying about how they’ll respond to you. But does that mean love should always be unconditional? Can true love exist if we constantly fear the consequences of being vulnerable? I wonder how much of vulnerability is necessary, and how much it requires mutual trust to thrive.
HTTran Ngoc Hong Thuan
Joyce Brothers’ words are powerful because they highlight how love requires authenticity. When we try to manipulate, we’re not allowing true connection to form. But being vulnerable is hard, isn’t it? How do we balance being fully open with someone while still protecting ourselves from being hurt? Is there a point where vulnerability becomes too much for a relationship to handle?