Real intimacy is only possible to the degree that we can be
Real intimacy is only possible to the degree that we can be honest about what we are doing and feeling.
Hear the truth of Joyce Brothers, who declared with piercing clarity: “Real intimacy is only possible to the degree that we can be honest about what we are doing and feeling.” In this saying lies the secret of love’s deepest bond—that without honesty, the union of hearts is but illusion, fragile as glass, ready to shatter at the touch of deceit.
She speaks of real intimacy, not the shallow nearness of bodies, but the true closeness of souls. Such intimacy is not born in silence or pretense, but in the courageous act of revealing oneself as one truly is. To speak one’s feelings without fear, to confess one’s actions without disguise—this is the foundation upon which trust is built. Without it, what passes for intimacy is but a mask.
Brothers reminds us that the measure of closeness is the measure of truth shared. Two may walk together, laugh together, even dwell together, but if their hearts are veiled, they remain strangers. Yet when honesty reigns, even in pain, even in conflict, intimacy deepens. For it is not agreement that binds, but authenticity—the willingness to be known fully, and to know fully in return.
The origin of this wisdom lies in the eternal struggle of human love: to balance the fear of rejection with the hunger for connection. Many choose safety, hiding their true selves, and in doing so they sacrifice intimacy for comfort. But Brothers teaches that only the brave—those who risk honesty—taste the fullness of intimacy. It is a treasure costly to win, but priceless to keep.
Thus let the generations remember: honesty is the key to intimacy. Without it, love withers in shadows; with it, love shines like a beacon unquenchable. Be not afraid to reveal your heart, for in truth lies closeness, and in closeness lies the strength to endure all storms. This is the legacy of Brothers: that intimacy is not given, but forged in the fire of truth.
CTLe Chi Truong
The idea of honesty being the foundation for intimacy really makes sense to me. If we can’t be honest about what we're doing and feeling, how can we expect the other person to truly understand us? But it also makes me think about the vulnerability that comes with this level of honesty. How do we learn to be more open without feeling exposed or judged? Is real intimacy about being open without fear of rejection?
PTPhuong Thao
I agree with the essence of this quote, but I wonder about the complexities of honesty. Sometimes, sharing our feelings might not just be about being honest but also about the timing and manner in which we communicate them. Is it possible to maintain intimacy if the truth is delivered in a harsh way, or does it only count if we express it thoughtfully? It seems like emotional intelligence plays a big role in this balance.
GDGold D.dragon
This quote brings up an interesting question—how often do we actually hide our true feelings in relationships? It feels like we’re often afraid that being fully honest might jeopardize the connection we have. But if intimacy relies on honesty, then does withholding emotions or pretending to feel differently lead to a lack of true connection? I think there’s a lot of courage required to be truly honest and open about our feelings.
CADuong Le Chau Anh
Joyce Brothers’ quote made me reflect on the importance of vulnerability in relationships. Being open about what we are doing and feeling is essential for building trust, but how many people are truly comfortable with that level of honesty? What happens when one partner is more open than the other? Can real intimacy exist if both partners aren't equally honest with each other, or is it one-sided?
OWKha Ore wa
I completely agree with the idea that real intimacy can only happen when we're honest. But the tricky part is how much honesty can we really handle in relationships? Sometimes, the truth can be painful or overwhelming, and I wonder if there’s a balance to be found between being completely honest and being compassionate in how we express our feelings. Can honesty ever be too much in a relationship?